Taking It

3.3

"Are you sure? I think you should–"

"He's in surgery right now, then i'm pretty sure he'll be asleep when he comes out. There's no point in me going to see him right now." Or ever.

At this Blair sighs, dropping her hand into her lap. "Well just let me know when you do want to go visit him, i'll take you." She offers me a comforting smile and I nod my head, wiping my face one last time for good measure.

• ─ • ─ •

For the next few days my schedule consists of meditation in the mornings, school, work, dinner, more meditation before bed. I keep this up for awhile, avoiding any and all discussions of Taylor. Word of his accident reaches both Brooke and Calvin. Calvin tries to offer his condolences but it's isn't wholehearted and I can tell that he doesn't truly care about Taylor. Brooke on the other hand tries for a full day to get me to go see him but gives up when I tell her that I am too busy to go see Taylor.

This isn't far from the truth seeming that mid-terms are coming up before Thanksgiving and I am swamped in reviews that covers things I barely recall learning. Our free period is filled with silence and our noses tucked in our books, with an occasional ask for help every now and again.

For awhile I'm content with this schedule. It barely leaves room for Calvin, let alone thoughts of Taylor. It is a good way to focus on myself for a bit and focus I did.

Once I receive my paycheck I go and buy my long overdue birthday gift, more canvas's. I go on a day that Calvin doesn't work, but Austin is there and is eager to use his friend and family discount for me. Apparently he doesn't know anyone who loves art and when I tell him that I was buying canvases for my birthday gift he gladly offers to discount them as his gift from me─even though he bought me cute little stuffed dog seeming I was allergic to real ones.

When I'm not drowning myself in my schoolwork I push open my sliding glass door, filling my room with the biting cold of Novembers weather, and crack open my abandon jars of paint. After putting on some music I get lost in my art.

Cassidy would sometimes complain how me having my door open chills the whole house but eventually shut up when she see's that I am enjoying myself.

"This is beautiful Charlotte." Doctor Fishermen gushes as her eyes flicker about the canvas that she is holding in her hands. "And this only took you a few days?" Her eyes shift over to me and her smile widens she she notices the one I am sporting.

My cheeks are beginning to hurt because of how far my lips ate stretched into a smile. It's Doctor Fishermen's birthday and I had wanted to give her something upon hearing this news. At the time I was just finishing up my painting of the lake and I instantly remembered how she loved nature just as much as I do.

It's a gift that is both personal and a physical representation of the progress that I am making.

"It did." I answer her question, pushing my hair from my face. "It's the first painting i've done since everything that's happen." Because of this reason I was hesitant to give it to her seeming it isn't the best that I can do.

"Really?" She gushes once again. "You can't even tell that you haven't picked up a brush for months." I doubt her words, knowing exactly where my mistakes are but I don't linger to long on this.

"It could be better." I shrug, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and she shakes her head, setting it down next to her so the painting is facing me. My eyes instantly flick towards the canvas, the corner of my lips twitch upwards.