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CHICK FLICKS AND SPEAKING TO DICKS

Rebecca stood waiting outside of the cinema, gnawing at the bottom of her lip nervously

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Rebecca stood waiting outside of the cinema, gnawing at the bottom of her lip nervously. She tore at the skin, feeling a small squirt of blood fill her mouth with a metallic taste. The two girls hadn't spoken much since Ebony had left the hospital a week ago, and since Rebecca didn't know where Ebony lived, she couldn't surprise Ebony. She had thought about texting her and asking for her address, but she realised that it would've spoilt the surprise. 

Neither of them had messaged the other, both of them too fear stricken to talk. This nervousness stemmed from when Rebecca woke up by Ebony's side, after a night full of blissful dreams. Despite how calming it felt to be by the injured girls side, she couldn't stop her hands from quaking as she took in the seriousness of the situation. Before, Rebecca thought that it was only a physical attraction that kept them both begging for more, yet when Rebecca's eyes fluttered open that day she knew it had suddenly become so much more. Her relationships never went past the first couple of dates, with a few kisses shared and awkward silences she believed that she was destined for an eternity where she wouldn't experience this foreign feeling. Yet here she was, confronted with all of these overwhelming emotions: never ending longing, soul sucking need, desire engulfing her very being, and crippling fear. 

She ran out of the room.

She didn't go back. 

It wasn't until Ebony messaged Rebecca the day before going to the cinema asking if they could still go see a movie, which would be her treat - Rebecca knew better than to protest - that Rebecca had registered the guilt that had been eating away at her happiness, preventing her from indulging in life's pleasures. It had been sudden, and when she picked up the phone to see the message she didn't realise how much she wanted it, how much she needed it. So, swallowing her doubt and panic, Rebecca replied immediately, wondering what time. Within seconds she had her answer, and she felt her shoulders relaxing, a smile sliding with ease back onto her face. 

That's how she ended up leaning against the wall of the packed cinema, ignoring her bleeding lip and fumbling for her cigarettes and lighter. The cancer stick calmed her nerves; it also slowly killed her. She took a deep drag, letting red tint the edge of the cigarette, puffing out the billowing smoke with professional execution. Someone coughed nearby, waving the smoke out of their face and feeling ash coat their throat. "You had to blow that directly into my face, didn't you Becks?" 

Rebecca's palms gathered sweat when she heard the nickname pass Ebony's lips. No one had ever given her a nick name, apart from her brother, and that was Frilly Fanny. It was just another thing that made Rebecca's heart skip, stutter and come close to collapsing together. 

Ebony took in Rebecca's bewildered expression, instantly regretting what she'd said.  She hadn't planned on saying it; that name flowed naturally off of her tongue as though it was her native language. Smiling crookedly, Ebony moved closer to Rebecca, feeling her beating heart go erratic as she brushed some stray hair from Rebecca's face, tucking it behind her ear. Ebony's fingers caressed her skin, the light journey of them making Rebecca shift uncomfortably. Subtly, she tilted her head to side, sucking on her cigarette once more. Ebony let her hand drop. 

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