I know you want me(H2OVanoss)

Part 26 - Trying my best

I'm not gonna go easy on these two lovers. Thanks for your amazing comments and support. Enjoy ^.^
————————————————

(Vanoss POV)
I sighed. Even that fucking food wasn't tasting good. I still couldn't believe what he said.

He can't be serious right? I can't lost him, that's... I just can't. Was I really waiting too long? And how's that he's not with Jason? Why didn't he tell me? Would I behave the same?

"Evan?"

My heart started to race, after hearing my name. With hope that it could be Delirious, I looked up to see Lui and Nogla. They both sat in front of me.

"Where's Delirious?" Asked me Lui and I shook my head.

"No idea," I replied and felt like a body without a soul, body without a life.

"Mate ya need to talk with him," stated Nogla and I sighed.

"We talked, we're done."

"So that's it, huh? This is the easiest way for you? Just let him go?" I frowned after Lui's words.

"Shut the fuck up. You don't even know what's going on between us." I didn't want to be that hard on my friend.

Fuck. I'm angry at myself and I'm giving my furious to my friends, that's not right.

"We don't, true, but at least I can see that he cares about your arse. And ya care about him. It's your life, ya can do whatever you want, we just want to help you."

I watched as Nogla squeezed Lui's hand and I sighed.

"You're right. I'm sorry."

Lui gave me a warm smile.

"So you want to talk about it?"

"I just... I'm afraid that I won't be able to give him everything he deserves, that I would dumb in one week, that maybe I would stop loving him? I don't fucking know."

Nogla stretched his arm and took my hands into his.

"There will always be "what if" words. We're not future tellers, but with this attitude you won't achieve anything. Tyler wouldn't be married wirh Craig, I wouldn't be with Nogla. Don't let him slip away, Evan. I know it's hard, it's terrifying, but if you love him and he loves you... there's nothing you two couldn't take."

Maybe Lui is right. Hell yeah, he's right. I won't tell if we're gonna stick together or not, if I don't try. And if I break up with him... then I can't sort it out, not now. Ok, I need to apologize. How? Date! I can take him on a date. I wasn't on date for so long though.

I stood up and smiled at both of them.

"Thanks," I said without any fake emotions.

"Good luck."

I quickly ran to my car and drove to his house, my head filled with pictures of one scenario after another. My hands were shaking, my heart pounding. I pulled right in front of his house and ran to his door, didn't mind to slam on them.

"Delirious! Delirious please... I'm sorry. I'm really sorry! I fucked up, everything I could, and I release just know. I can't live without you next to me. I love you, you hear me?!" I yelled, and I remembered that night I didn't let him in when he confess everything to me.

"Young boy? Why doing such loud noises?" I heard an old voice behind me.

I turned my head, hands still on the door, to see some old lady walking her dog.

"If you're looking for Jonathan, he's not home. You had to miss him. He left like five minutes ago with some luggages." Every word she said was like daggers stabbing me right into my heart.

Left? He's not home? No! That can't be! No, no, no!

"Where is he? Where did he go? Did he say somethings Why didn't you stop him?" I asked fast and scanned his house to make sure.

The windows were tightly closed, not even his bedroom window was opened like always. There wasn't any light and the house looked empty. I looked around and didn't even see his car.

"I didn't speak with him. And mind your manners young boy!" With the she left and I returned to my car.

I felt lost, empty, like my heart was shredded to million pieces without any sign of getting together soon.

He can't be gone. That's, that's not fair! I love him for fuck sake. Jonathan, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. Maybe he'll pick up my call! I have to try it. I have to tell him how much I love him.

I felt tears in my eyes. I pulled out my phone and dialed his number, my whole body nervously shaking with each beeping sound. But he didn't answered. I called Lui instead.

"Hey. So how was it? What did he say?" He asked with joy in his voice.

I couldn't even speak at that moment. A loud sob escaped my mouth and I didn't even try to hide it anymore.

"Evan? You ok?" He continued.

"I'm not. He's not home. I lost him, Lui. I'm fucking stupid. I don't even know where to find him. I didn't even have a courage to tell him eyes to eyes that I love him."

I wiped the tears from my face and glanced over his house.

"We're gonna call him, try to find where he's. Give us a second. Be strong."

How can I be strong without him? Without his voice, laughter, his face, eyes. Without his personality. The way he always frowns when he's thinking about somethings, or that joy in his eyes when he's excited.

I snapped out of my thoughts when my phone rang again. Filled with hope to hear Delirious I answered it.

"He's at Tyler's house. Go for him."