Tourist Trap

Chapter 18

"This is a very nice place you have here, Bobby," Sarah said kindly. 

"I know it's not much," Bobby shrugged. "But I'm pretty proud of it. It beats living in my mom's basement." 

"Well I think it's perfectly lovely," Sarah replied. 

"Thanks," Bobby blushed again. "Anyway, I'm going to fix myself a sandwich. Can I get you guys a brew or anything?" 

"I will gladly take one off your hands," Max volunteered. 

"Are you drinking again?" Sarah asked incredulously. 

"Hey, there's no room for sobriety in my society," Max said importantly. 

"Oh no, don't start with the aphorisms again," Sarah groaned. "Just go ahead and drink your beer." 

"It's not beer, it brew," Max said snobbishly as he popped open a bottle. "Beer is for tourists." 

"What's the difference?" Sarah shrugged.  

"Beer is like liquid bread. Brew is like liquid tortillas. Here, you should have one." Bobby said as he offered forth a bottle. 

"It's a little early in the morning for that sort of thing," Sarah said. "But what the hell? I may as well try one." 

Bobby tossed her a cold bottle and began munching on his sandwich. Sarah eyed it suspiciously and then ventured to take a sip. "Tastes like beer to me," she announced. "But it's not too bad. I like it." She took another couple of sips and let out a belch. 

"Nice one," Bobby applauded. 

"Whoa, this stuff is pretty strong," she said after taking another gulp. "I'm feeling a little tipsy." 

"Chicks," Max rolled his eyes at Bobby. "They're such lightweights. Come on, drink up." 

"Don't worry, I will," she said and chugged the rest of her drink. She tossed the empty bottle on top of a large pile on the floor and appeared as if she were going to lose her balance for a moment before regaining her composure. "I like your house, Bobby, but is there any chance you could turn off the rotation in here?" she giggled. "Is there a switch for that or something? Everything's spinning around." 

Max rubbed his chin thoughtfully at this new turn of events. "Hey want another one?" he asked devilishly. 

"Are you trying to get me drunk?" she pawed at him and almost fell over again in the process. "Oops." 

"Looks like we've already succeeded in that endeavor. So... how's about giving me a little kiss?" 

"Oh no," she slurred. "I couldn't do that." 

"Sure you can," Max said. "It's easy, you just press your lips against mine and voila."  

"No, I mean what about Vance? I don't think he'd like it if I kissed you." 

"So? What about him? He'll never know. Come on just one. I won't even use my tongue if you don't want me to." 

"I think I need to sit down for a minute," she murmured as she plopped down on the edge of Bobby's bed.  

Max sat down next to her and stroked her thigh gently. "What's one little kiss going to hurt? Kissing's a beautiful thing. You'd make my whole day with just one little innocent touch of your lips." 

"Well, I guess one wouldn't hurt," Sarah conceded. 

"Excellent." Max rubbed his hands together and leaned over eagerly. 

Unfortunately Sarah's body chose this moment to transform into a hideous rat again. Max noticed just in time and leaped backwards. "Sweet merciful fuck!"