The Detachment

Chapter 12

I'm frozen. Full of rage at myself for so many reasons. For keeping it a secret to Pyrus that I know Aspen, for trying to just ignore the fact that I put him in such danger, and for knowing that what I chose to do is going to scar so many people. I don't know what to say to Pyrus, or what I should even do with my body, and I just let myself cry. My hair - so frizzy, so dirty, and so overdue for a haircut - engulfs my face, and I cross my arms around my body.

Finally, I put myself together as much as I can when I realize Pyrus is just standing there, so cold and distant, glaring at me like I'm a monster standing in front of her.

"I know...," I start, "I know you must think I'm selfish and weak, but you have to understand that I think the same thing of myself. I never thought I would end up here, that Aspen would end up here. I should be dead or imprisoned right now..."

And just then, she walks away with that same fear in her eyes that she came to me with. Before I even have a chance to start crying pathetically into my own hands again, Zachary nudges me to the shower room.

After dropping my clothes onto the floor and getting into the stall, I let the water run down my face and hair and body, a million thoughts circling in my head. I've always been the kind to over think, but with so many things buzzing in my head, I almost feel sick. On a second thought, I realize I feel really sick, and I arch forward to throw up.

- - - - - - -

  ...Deep breaths, deep breaths... I repeat in my head. I was brushing through my long damp hair. Although I was trying my best to ignore it, my head hurt so bad and my hands were shaking. I let go of the hair brush and put my palms out in front of me, looking at really how much they seemed to quiver. Why was I like this? What was wrong with me - I couldn't take a negative reaction? I dropped my head low.
Then is when I noticed someone behind me. I almost get angry until I realize it was Arren, with equally as damp and messy hair as me.

"Hey, you alright there?" He says, so careful, so careful.

"Um.. I don't...I don't know" I reply. I self consciously fold my shaking arms and look away.

"Can I do something?" His voice is ever so slightly shaky. Why is he nervous?

I touch his arm, unsure if he will pull away. Immediately I wrap my scrawny arms around his shoulders, actually taking a deep breath for once. Even though my old life is gone, not even sure if Aspen is going to be my friend anymore, I knew I could trust Arren to be the new constant in my life. I look up at his face, and he seems to have a somehow simultaneously goofy but hopeful smirk. Suddenly, though, I hear a soft thud. Confused at first, I realize my towel dropped and I'm hugging Arren completely naked. Both of our faces seem to drop expressions at the same time and all I can utter is an airy "Oh my god."
    I pick up the ratty, discolored thing and cover myself as fast as I possible can. I just know my face is so red and that I mine as well have had the word "embarrassed" written on my forehead. Wincing at the thought of how Arren would respond, I finally look to see him...bursting with laughter! What kind of response to seeing your friend bare naked is that? Before I even have the strength to get mad, he hugs me again and leans his head on my arm for a moment.

            "Oh, Hazel," he starts, "whatever are we going to do with you?"

I can't help but chuckle a little. "You better not ever scare me like that again, though. Oh my god...a normal person would have just walked away!"

          "None of us are normal anymore, Hazel. You should have rooted out the possibility of a normal response right when you realized I've lived in a hut in the woods most of my life!"

"Oh boy," I was flicking away tears of laughter from my every by this point, "And when I decided that it was a good idea to do the same thing."

           "Okay, l think now is a good time to get dressed," Arren said, leading me towards the dorm-type rooms. Instead of leaving, though, he sat on one of the cots criss crossed.

             "What are you still doing here, you perv? I joked, a funny expression on my face.

"Fine!" He said, bouncing a little. "I promise I won't peak," replied Arren, running a hand through his pile of wavy hair.

             "Are we sure about that?"

Turning around to face the wall opposite of me, he put a hand over each eye like he was playing hide-and-go-seek. I started putting on a bland looking striped thermal over my head when he started again.

      " Truthfully, I just really don't want to go back out there - too much groaning about how hard life is."

"Ah" Arren shirked off. "But what else would you expect?"