the moment i saw you cry ☾ michael jackson

☾Chapter 27

Filthy bitch.

Filthy bitch..

Filthy bitch...

Filthy fucking bitch.

Those are the words that are going to scar me for the rest of my life.

  I sit outside on the stairs of the chapel with my chin in the palm of my hand. I feel like I've been out here forever, although it's only been about five minutes. I can hear Daddy and Lisa's loud voices, probably debating this whole situation. I think about everything that happened and sigh. I don't even know who I'm mad at for what reason.

  I guess I'm just overanalysing something that shouldn't even matter. Yeah Lisa is marrying my adopted father, but so what? I guess she hasn't done anything to me – except for make me angry over the fact that I feel as if she's replacing my mother, or taking my daddy away from me – but I can get past that...can't I? I roll my eyes and play with the straps of my shoes. I just don't know about anything anymore.

  I hear the door to the chapel open and close from behind me. I don't look back, as I don't care to know who it is at this point.

  "What are you doing out here?" I recognise Daddy's soft voice.

  I shrug. "Just needed time to evaluate my behavior, I guess," I say.

  He chuckles and sits next to me. "Evaluate your behavior, huh?"

  I don't respond. I look out around, gazing at the dark blue and purple evening sky as the sun is setting – nature has never been so beautiful before.

  "Allison, what happened back there was out of my control. I was just disappointed, and honestly a little angry with you, but don't get mad at me, I just wasn't quite expecting what happened back there. And can I just say, you are absolutely not what you said you were back there...I don't know what made you think anything of yourself like that, but I-" his voice cracks and tears start to drop from his eyes. Soon, he begins crying.

  "Daddy?" I ask, feeling my emotions calm down.

  "I'm s-so sorry, A-Allison, I never meant to hurt you...please, don't look at me like the way you looked at Kyle," he says. "Or...or the way I used to look at my father, please."

  I go in for a hug and he hugs me back gently, but with full of love. I rub his back as he continues to cry in the crook of my neck. "Daddy," I whisper, "I will never, ever look at you like that. I can't even see it, no matter what you do. I just can't." I can't help but shed a little tear as well.

  He looks up at me, teary-eyed and wipes his tears with his sleeve. "Please don't ever say anything bad about yourself ever again, promise me?" he asks.

  I nod. "Promise, Daddy."

  He smiles a little. "I know our time together so far hasn't been very long, but I need you to understand that people are going to come into your life, Allison, whether you expect it or not, and Lisa...I'm in love with her. I just thought you'd be mature enough to understand that. But let me just tell you, that you, Allison, you will always be my number one girl, no matter what. You are the love of my life, and it's not something that Lisa or anyone else can replace, ever."

  I look down and a small smile creeps on my face. "I'm sorry Daddy...sorry for making a scene."

  "Hey," he lifts my chin up, "it's okay. Just stop barricading your heart, you don't need to. Love Lisa, please, let her help you make you feel better. Love is the most important thing."

  I nod my head. "Hey Daddy," I say, remembering the baby.

  He looks down at me. "Yes Princess?"

  "I'm sorry for eavesdropping again, and I swear I didn't mean to hear this one, but I heard Lisa say that she's pregnant..."

  "Oh, right," he softly says. "I was going to tell you – we were going to tell you – after the wedding. We just thought it'd be more special. I'm sorry you had to hear it sooner than planned."

  "It's okay, but I heard you say that it's made you the happiest you've ever been, and it got me feeling kind of...forgotten."

  He shakes his head. "Remember what I told you? No one can replace you, because you're my Allison Joy Jackson. Of course I'm happy to be a father – again," he nods his head to me, "but that's exactly how I felt the moment I found you. I knew this little girl was going to be my daughter. So, God brought us together, and I couldn't be more thankful. Adoption don't mean nothing – and I hate using the word adoption because you are my daughter." He brushes a strand of hair away from my face.

  I take in everything he said and smile. "Daddy I love you."

  "I love you more. God, do I..."

  There was a silence. Not an awkward one, just a peaceful one. We were both just lost in our own thoughts, staring out at the beautiful, dark purple sky, stars starting to show, laying my head on his shoulder.

  "Hey Allison, which moon do you like better?" he asks. "Crescent, or full?"

  I think for a moment then say, "Crescent, definitely."

  "Me too," he says, pointing up at the sky as the little half moon is starting to appear.

  "Why don't you say we fix up that dress of yours, and have this wedding be better than it was before?"

  "Yeah," I say enthusiastically.

  He stands up and offers his hand to me. "Shamone then, my beautiful queen."

  I take his hand and stand up, glancing across the view one more time before walking back inside again.

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