Living With The Boys

Chapter 15: Adventures Pt 2

Jane POV

Before my eyes started to well up from the thoughts of home and family, however, disorientated it is now and in the past. I get to my feet and address the rest of the group to see what we should do next. We had explored the entirety of the zoo now but we still had plenty of time before darkness crept into the horizon.

We all spoke and all of us wanted to do something different so we split up. Me, Johnson, Teddy and Gilinsky wanted to explore central park a little more so though the group all split and went their separate ways, we stuck together and tracked down a horse and carriage business that would take us on a tour of the whole park. It didn't take long to find one as businesses would come up to you offering tours of the city and other things. Upon finding the carriages we also found out that they could only seat two people at a time. Teddy and Gilinsky quickly glanced at each other and did an odd telepathic mind reading trick because they both looked at us and said, " Well we are going together on this carriage thingy so um... have fun!" They turn away and jump into the nearest carriage, leaving me and Johnson to get on the next one.

Before long we were in a carriage exploring the wonders of central park. It was gorgeous in every way. Nature, the landmarks, the cute young and old couples holding hand while going for a walk. Everything about this place had a magic to it. Until I noticed that I and Jack were in this together and we hadn't even spoken yet so I ask, " Hey, Jack, are you alright? You haven't spoken much since we left the zoo.".

He looked at me with blank eyes and smiled at me. "Oh, um, don't worry about me I've just been thinking about things. Things that have happened the past couple days. Also things about where I go from here... Where we go from here.".

That made me turn my body towards him. Eyeing him over carefully. Trying to read his body language more than anything else. He looked uncomfortable, he was fidgety and looked down at his feet instead of my eyes. "What do you mean we? I mean It's not like there is a 'we' yet. Jack, I have things going on that you don't understand right now.", I say in a cautious tone in my voice.

Jack seems to flinch and something changes inside of him somehow. He finally looks at me with a mix of hurt and anger in his eyes. "So the days and weeks have meant nothing to you then? I mean I get it, why would you want me when you could have any guy that you choose. You have every guy fall over for you the moment you speak."

"Jack, it isn't that at all!" I say with desperation in my voice. "There is no easy way to say it, though. If I say it or if I don't feelings are going to get hurt... This isn't the right time or place to do this Jack. Please don't make this situation any more awkward than it currently is."

"Come on then Jane, spit it out. When would be a better time than this huh? If it's not now then it will be never" Jack exclaims with anger rising and dripping off every word.

People start to stare at us arguing and I look down at my feet. In a low and quiet voice, I explain "Look, this seriously was nothing that you did or didn't do. It's just that the night I had my episode was also the day that you were reunited with Sam. When he left, he asked me out on a date.It was so unexpected and shocked me to the core. Look, he is picking me up tomorrow and we are going to the movies but... Please, Jack, this isn't what I really wan-" He cuts me off before I get to finish.

"So now you tell me about this! After last night, and after all the flirting with me!". This shakes me to the foundation of my being. I've never seen Jack be so aggressive or so hurt... With tears forming and blurring my vision, I start to feel a tightness in my chest. Tingles appear in every crevasse of my body, panic rose and I started to feel unsafe.

I stutter "I... I don't... I". I cannot overcome the rush of feeling coming over me threatening to spill over and becoming uncontrollable. I make a quick decision and jump off of the moving horse and carriage leaving everything behind. I run like my emotions are a monster chasing me with no mercy. The sound of Jack, nature and general noise pollution fades until a general humming sound is left in my ears. It became the sound of static on a tv when it looses it's signal. It was equally merciless and mercyful.

Pumping my legs as fast and hard as they would go I find myself in a peculiar place when I finally run out of breath and energy. It's not the sort of place you would think to find in a bustling, thriving park that never seems to stop. But this place seemed to defy the norms. It was peaceful, quiet and felt like a home. It felt like I had been here before, though I know I haven't because this is my fost time in New York but it just feels so familiar. It started to dawn on me that home was so far away and as the emotions kept rising, they split over the edge.

The sound of the small rushing waterfall was enough the drown out the sobs that racked my body. I don't know how long I was there, but the sun was no longer at it's, peak. I somehow pulled myself together. It was almost just like something snapped inside of me and I no longer felt the full and mixed emotions or the urge to spill my precious tears. This was a sort of clarity I had always seeked, but could never seem to find. I fund myself sitting upon a rock close to the fountain. No one was around. For once, there was no sound of the car horns or the clip-clop of horse hooves of the brick pavement. The sounds of nature surrounded me and all of my being. It was a song that filled me with determination and strength. Who was I, to let boys rule me and my emotions?

I finally knew what I needed to do, and it was purely what I needed to do for myself. Though it seems as though I may not be taking into consideration of what they may feel, this is no longer about them. You cannot help others before helping yourself.

As I was about to leave my little piece of serenity, the crunch of leaves under shoes sounds around from behind me. I spin and turn around to see him standing there, wide-eyed and red-faced, as though he had been running for a while. He stepped forward and I stepped back. It was a sort of dance that continued until we had moved in a half circle formation. I didn't know what to say but it felt like he was waiting for something. But the question was, waiting for what? He had something ticking like a time bomb in his head and it looked like he would explode if he didn't say it soon. This time, I stepped forward, he didn't step back.

I have always had trouble with making eye contact with people. This time was different. I dragged my eyes away from the ground and slowly scanned my way up to his face. It was then that I noticed them. His eyes, glimmering in the sunlight that was slowly sinking behind me. Our eyes were locked onto each other and thoughts scrambled my thinking, making it a tangled mess of letters and emotions. There was something new and exciting about the way he held his eyes. They spoke adventure but desire. A desire not of the physical kind, but the kind that you feel when it absolutely necessary to confess something. His lips parted and he took a deep breath in. He paused and I waiting in anticipation, ready for the words that I have been waiting for. He begins...

Authors Note:Hey guys, so sorry it's been a couple weeks since updating... Just got back to school and things have been a little bit hectic at the moment. I will try and update as much as possible and should hopefully be every two weeks around about. It may be earlier or later just depending on what's happening.