Lost & Wild: A Joshua Brown Story

Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

Harper had stood on the sidelines of the lifting competition a fake smile plastered on her face as her mind spun. She kept finding herself staring off into space. What had she done? She wasn't ready for this. It'd been almost 2 years since her last relationship and David had done a number on her. She hadn't come out and divulged all the gritty details to pretty much anyone, except for her brother Alex. It was only in the last year that she'd really felt like herself again. She'd only been with David 6 months, but it had been an intense and damaging relationship. It had soured her on letting anyone that close again.

But after 2 years, her body was definitely starved for another human's affection. It's probably the reason she was so eager to jump at the suggestion that Bam would be ok with a casual fling. Maybe part of her knew that he was what she needed, inside and outside of the sheets. She'd been able to control her attraction to a number of other people she'd met who'd turned on the charm. Even other reality stars that were lusted after by 1000's of women. She could have cared less.

Maybe it's because Bam was different, even with all of their time on TV, the Browns still lived simply. They still strived to maintain their subsistence life. They were more real than a lot of people the cousins had met. Bam didn't seem to be a flighty type. He seemed like his admission affected him greatly. He was across the circle from her, staring at her intently, trying to look away, but finding it difficult. She didn't think he just threw around the 'love' word very often. She was just standing still, but her heart was beating out of her chest and she was starting to feel dizzy.

Bam watched her from across the circle. It was easy to see how distracted she was. She didn't really respond like the others around her who were cheering and laughing. He hoped he hadn't freaked her out. He didn't want her to start putting more distance between them. Maybe he'd made a mistake telling her. It was extremely soon, it was completely out of character for him. But he'd been listening to that song for an hour, unable to cope with how much it described how he felt .

He wanted to get her alone now. And it wasn't so much for the release. He wanted to take her to the beach, hold her in his arms as the sun was setting. He wanted to walk with her in the woods, holding her hand, he wanted to spend the afternoon in the dirt feeding her berries. He wanted to go over to her now and let her lay her head on his shoulder and tell her everything was ok. He was not usually one to want to show affection in such a manner and maybe these ideas were tame to some, but it was all new for him.

Harper was uncharacteristically quiet that evening, laughing off suggestions that she was ill at dinner, barely picking at her food. Her cousins and even some of the Browns teased her that she was finally hitting the wall of realizing she didn't have internet or a phone and was reacting to that. She just had to smile and shake her head. She didn't mind the teasing, but she really wished her stomach would quit fluttering.

"Harper! Snap out of it!" Jack said, snapping his fingers in Harper's face.

"Huh? Oh, what?" She asked, her focus returning.

"Ami was asking you a question." Jack said, going back to eating his dinner.

"Oh, I'm sorry Ami, what did you say?" Harper said, trying to shake her head straight.

"It's ok dear, I just asked if you'd like to go pick berries tomorrow, those bushes should be loaded again I'd say. I thought maybe beforehand, we can work on that bread dough issue." She said smiling from across the fire.

"Yeah, yeah that sounds good." Harper said, feeling a small sense of calm come over her, "But I'm going to have someone on post while we're gone with the full authority to kill any ant within the general vicinity of that dough." She joked.