Last Goodbye (Lauren/ you)

Chapter Eight

I hadn't seen Lauren since she slept over and honestly i'm grateful I was starting to let her in and that scared me. I've never let anyone in before but she was breaking my walls down. So maybe the distance would help me regain control of my feelings. There was a quote that Mr Wells put on the board 'Distance makes the heart grow fonder' I liked that he put quotes on the bored. It makes you think and relate. But this just made me more scared because I had been thinking about Lauren a lot. She was on my mind and I found myself missing her presence. I wanted to see her but I was waiting for her to come see me.

"Y/N, did you find a poem" Mr Wells said smiling snapping me out of my thoughts. I nodded and he motioned for me to stand and read it aloud. This was the most terrifying part everyone looking at you judging, waiting for you to slip up so they could laugh but you just had to get on with it. Just breathe, concentrate on the words on the paper and speak. I motivated myself. I took a deep breath before starting..

"I know it's a bad title
but I'm giving it to myself as a gift
on a day nearly canceled by sunlight
when the entire hill is approaching
the ideal of Virginia
brochured with goldenrod and loblolly
and I think "at least I have not woken up
with a bloody knife in my hand"
by then having absently wandered
one hundred yards from the house
while still seated in this chair
with my eyes closed.

It is a certain hill
the one I imagine when I hear the word "hill"
and if the apocalypse turns out
to be a world-wide nervous breakdown
if our five billion minds collapse at once
well I'd call that a surprise ending
and this hill would still be beautiful
a place I wouldn't mind dying
alone or with you.

I am trying to get at something
and I want to talk very plainly to you
so that we are both comforted by the honesty.
You see there is a window by my desk
I stare out when I am stuck
though the outdoors has rarely inspired me to write
and I don't know why I keep staring at it.

My childhood hasn't made good material either
mostly being a mulch of white minutes
with a few stand out moments,
popping tar bubbles on the driveway in the summer
a certain amount of pride at school
everytime they called it "our sun"
and playing football when the only play
was "go out long" are what stand out now.

If squeezed for more information
I can remember old clock radios
with flipping metal numbers
and an entree called Surf and Turf.

As a way of getting in touch with my origins
every night I set the alarm clock
for the time I was born so that waking up
becomes a historical reenactment and the first thing I do
is take a reading of the day and try to flow with it like
when you're riding a mechanical bull and you strain to learn
the pattern quickly so you don't inadvertently resist it." I completely forgot where I was, as I was reading I kept thinking about the green-eyed girl that was always on my mind. I looked up to see the student completely flabbergasted and Mr Wells eyes were wide probably surprised that I had read that much in his class.

"That was fantastic! who wrote it?" He said intrigued as he leaned against his desk.

"I can't remember sir" I said sitting down. The truth is I wrote it. I had been writing a lot since I met Lauren like all my inspiration has come back. Almost as if she is the light in my dark life. Deep? Perhaps but it's just how I feel sorry.

"That's a shame" He said going to his computer. "Grace you're next" the blonde girl at the front stood up and started her poem. I wanted to listen but they all sounded so monotone it made me sleepy.

After class had finished Mr Wells asked me to stay behind I thought I was going to get into trouble for not knowing the poet.

"So you wanna tell me who wrote the poem?" He asked his voice calm different to what it usually is when he's teaching.

"Im not sure" My hands were shaking and sweaty. He looked at me like he didn't believe me. I hated that I was such a bad liar. He leaned back in his chair before grabbing something from his drawer.

"I know you wrote it, it was very touching. I want you to write in here and if you feel comfortable maybe I could read them" He said before handing me a leather diary. I nodded and whispered a thank you before walking out of his classroom. The halls were deserted, rubbish scattered around the floor and distant laughing probably coming from the kids who decided to skip their class. Luckily that was my last class so now i had the whole day to myself.

To Lauren: are u busy today?

From Lauren: no, wanna hang out? I have so much to tell you :)

To Lauren: meet me at the beach?

From Lauren: okay, i'll see you shortly x

Maybe Mr Wells' quote was right perhaps being away from Lauren has made my heart grow fonder. I smiled and made my way to the car excited to see her again.

(Do y'all think im longing this story out or do you like the way it's going? The next chapter shit is about to go down! No spoilers but y'all might hate me for it. Vote and Comment if you liked it im always open to suggestions for next chapters. stay beautiful)