Tourist Trap

Chapter 9

"What about dementia?" Max sputtered indignantly. "Who said anything about that? I'll have you know my psychiatrist gave me a clean bill of health as long as I stay away from roosters!" 

"No, no," the tiger replied. "Dimensions. I thought I heard you inquiring as to your whereabouts earlier." 

"Oh. Yes. Yes we were," Max straightened his shirt collar and darted his eyes around. 

"Well, the Museum of Interdimensional Oddities is located on the other side of those bushes over there." 

"Yeah?" Max perked up. "I hear they've got a new exhibit that's supposed to magnify the intensity of your orgasms up to thirty times! I'd sure like to test that puppy out! What do you say, Zeke? Let's go!" 

"Shouldn't we be trying to figure out a way back to Smelly Pete's Tavern so we can meet up with Sarah?" 

"Yeah, yeah, but we can do that after we check the museum out. You ever been there? It's really cool!" 

"But Sarah's waiting for us..." 

"So? She can wait a little longer. Come on. It'll be fun! I promise!" 

"Well, okay, I guess." 

"That's the spirit!" Max said as he gave him a playful punch on the arm. 

They waved goodbye to the tiger and headed over towards the large bushes it had indicated. 

"You know," Zeke said. "Talking to that guy was pretty interesting. We probably just deduced something I'm sure actual mathematicians probably figured out hundreds, if not thousands, of years ago." 

"Either that or we're totally wrong and we just led the poor boy completely astray," Max replied. 

"Yeah, but what can you do?" Zeke shrugged.  

They pushed through the bushes and found themselves standing in front of a very strange looking building.

* * *

Dr. Jonas Wentworth rubbed his weary eyes and then ran a hand through his disheveled hair. He was on the verge of collapsing from exhaustion, but nonetheless a large grin of triumph spread across his face.  

"At last!" he exclaimed. "I've spent countless sleepless hours tinkering around, but now my monster is surely complete! There will be no more mishaps this time! That miserable wretch Octavius from down the street will fall to his knees and beg for mercy before the sheer evil and horror of my twisted creation!" He thrust his fists into the air and bellowed with evil laughter. 

"Sir?" Maurice tugged at his lab coat. 

"Yes, yes, what is it? I'm very busy gloating over my sheer evil genius." 

"I was just wondering what exactly you fixed in the monster?" 

"Ah yes," Dr. Wentworth patted Maurice on the back. "You have an inquisitive mind. That shows the makings of a true mad scientist. Someday, my son, if you study very, very hard you may, perhaps, come close to matching my extraordinary intellectual prowess. In the meantime I will teach you the ways of the master." 

"That's wonderful, sir, but could you please tell me what was wrong with the monster?" 

"Yes, yes of course, of course. It was quite a complicated operation. Lots of gears to turn and neural transmissions to fine tune. In the end, however, it turned out his sissy-meter was simply cranked too high. I went ahead and made the necessary adjustments and now the day of reckoning has arrived for a certain Oscar Octavius!" He burst out in another fit of evil laughter.