Damaged Kids // Jøsh Dun

T W E N T Y | F I V E

So Won't You Save the Part of Me That's Broke Again
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I had been awake for some time now, thinking about things that I probably should not be thinking about. I had a slight headache from the whiskey I drank last night I was also pretty hungry. The hangover wasn't bad to the point were I wanted to rip my hair out, but it was still there. I shifted to my side and my eyes landed on a sleeping Josh. He looked so peaceful; his mouth was slightly parted and there were a few light snores escaping his lips.

I felt so shitty for putting him through my petty problems. I couldn't wrap my head around the idea that he was willing to stay and be with me. He was attractive, both inside and out and could have anyone he wanted. Yet, for some reason he decided to be with the girl who he was in love with high school.

I thought about my alcoholism. How I wasn't exactly dependent on it, but I was close. It was a bad habit, and I knew that but I wouldn't get myself to stop. I looked at Josh once more and decided that if I wasn't going to get better for myself, then I would at least do it for Josh and my mom.

I decided to get up from the comfortable position on the bed and went to take a shower. I sat on the floor, my suitcase in front of me, and rummaged through my clothes. I took out a pair of dark washed skinny jeans and a black crisscross cut tank top. I brought the clothes with me to the shower a d stripped from my pajamas. The water was warm and I allowed myself to relax under it for a little while. A little while turned into almost half an hour and I began to wash my hair and body, trying to rid myself from the stench of alcohol, stale cigarette smoke, and weed.

I finished my shower and began to dry myself off, quickly getting dressed. Before doing my makeup, I brushed my teeth and started to do my makeup.

I wasn't one to wear foundation or any of that stuff, but today was an exception. I looked like a zombie with my tired, sunken eyes, and purple marks under them. For once I looked decent and decided to finish the look with a dark red liquid lipstick. I was happy with how I looked and left the bathroom. Josh was no longer laying down on the bed and I just figured that he was in the kitchen. I put my things in my suitcase and took out a pair of black Mary Jane pumps that I had been dying to wear and I would probably die from wearing them.

I wanted to make it look like nothing happened last night and as of right now, it was working.

From the closed door, I could hear muffled voices and thought that it was only Tyler coming to visit. I decided to go say hi and as I was opening the door, I heard a crash of what I was guessing were pots and pans. I chuckled a little and continue to walk towards them.

"Good morning!" I greeted as cheery as possible.

"Hey Lydia." Tyler nodded at me with a smile. I returned the smile and looked over at Josh who was shirtless and his basketball short hung dangerously low on his hips. I looked down to the floor, trying to be discreet of the blush forming on my cheeks. Even the word 'hot' was an understatement of how he looked right now.

"You're drooling Lydia." Said Tyler, thanfully interrupting my gaze. I looked down bashfully and tried to get my cool back.

"So uh," I began, clearing my throat. "What are you making?" I asked Josh as I sat on one of the stools next to Tyler.

"As of right now, I'm making bacon. I finished the pancakes earlier while you were in the shower." He explained, looking down at the bacon. I nodded and began to converse with Tyler.

"Hey Josh, have you told her?" Tyler asked Josh.

"What haven't you told me?" I asked, obviously oblivious to the conversation.

"Told her what?" Asked Josh, flipping a piece of bacon over. Tyler made hand motion over his stomach, making me more confused.

"Oh that? No I haven't told her yet." I gave them a very confused look since they wouldn't tell me.