The Fight (Republished)

Chapter 1: Chance

I had only been dating her for three months, but I felt a strong connection with her. We shared many laughs, meals, teas and late night drives together. Her favourite thing was to drive around rich neighbourhoods and look at all the fancy houses that belonged to the unhappy people. It was her thing, but it actually made me think about how society was spiraling downward. People with their fancy houses and nice cars. Neither of us wanted that, nor would we ever strive to obtain such things. We were both simple people looking for meaning in our lives. Our paths were different, yet we had both been through a lot and it came to a head at the worst time possible.

I say three months, but it could have been a week, or two off - my honesty gets the better of me sometimes. I was an athletic man with dark blonde hair and blue eyes. She was a cute brunette with brown eyes and stood several inches shorter than myself, who was six feet on the dot. Now I don't want to bore you with a story of two people madly in love, so I'll continue writing as this is not one of those stories.

Despite dating for several months, we weren't official. She said I was the only one, but due to my ex, I was skeptical and always thought there was someone else. I couldn't wrap my head around the idea of going so slow in the development of a relationship that I guess I got a bit anxious at times. I wasn't interested in having sex with her at all, I just wanted someone to love, care for and support through all of life's ups and downs. I didn't think it was too much to ask of a person, but time and time again, I seemed to get the sense that it was.

Maybe I'm wasting my time writing this out for you to read. When I first started typing this out on my computer, I was just looking for a way to vent my frustration with God and the girl I... the girl I guess I was falling in love with. I don't know how else to put it really. I had strong feelings for her and even though I never wanted to tell her that I loved her, I definitely cared on such a level that one would probably call it a form of love at least.

When I first started writing this, I had an idea in my head to be as honest as possible and look back at how things progressed to figure out where I went wrong. The more I think about it though, I wonder where God was when I told him off because she didn't want me to see her anymore. The big man had dealt her some shitty cards and it wasn't fair. I was trying to support her the best I could, but I seemed to smother her.

It was a Friday night when she fell ill. She was at work waiting tables and went to the hospital. I texted her on Saturday morning asking how she was and this is when I found out the bad news. She never said it outright to me, but since she had stage one cancer, I made the assumption that it was getting worse. I didn't want to ask her about it because any time I asked her about her monthly treatments, she would shutdown on me. I guess cancer is a touchy subject for the person that has it, but I wasn't sure how to deal with it from the shoes of the person who cared for the unlucky person.

Having had family members battle and lose their fights with cancer, it didn't deter me from wanting her in my life as a significant other. Sure, it may turn into a challenge down the road, but I thought I was strong enough to handle whatever was to come my way. I love unconditionally, I fight for those whom I love and I'm not going to run away when things get tough because I'm rather stubborn. I care too much sometimes and it tends to get me hurt. This was just another fine example of that.

Not knowing all the details and not wanting to ask, I waited a few days before I told my parents about what was happening to my girlfriend. All I knew, was that she was in the hospital and there was a good chance she was going in for surgery. Surgery? That can't be good right? Even if it's a minor procedure, something could still go wrong. I wouldn't say that I was panicked by the news she gave me, but it took some time for me to actually go see her since I had just started a new job.