The Deathless Trilogy

3.17. Tippy

17 days until Roberts' crew lands, and at 5:38 this morning, I effectively dissolved the implant from Tippy's brain. I spent the majority of my sleepless night practicing again on the artificial brain, just to make sure I get everything perfect, and at about 5:30, I finally got up the nerve to try it out on Tippy.

First, insert the syringe full of sodium bicarbonate through the incision point.

Next, press the solution into the patient's brain.

Quickly remove the syringe, and replace it with the syringe full of synthetic cerebrospinal fluid to stabilize pH levels.

Use millimeter-wave radar wand to check for implant's existence. If implant is still detected, repeat process until it is completely dissolved.

I'm not worthless.

At 5:38 precisely, the millimeter-wave radar wand detected a clean brain, and at 6:00, Tippy regained consciousness.

I save living things. I'm not a monster.

I placed Tippy in one of the rat leashes Declan and I used to keep hidden in our drawers, and now, as I wait for the Immortal to awaken, I observe Tippy's movement and functions as we play on the bridge that crosses the artificial stream through the lab. I write observations in my notebook.

"Test Subject seems to be moving and functioning normally. Test subject seems to see the water and judge its dangers for him appropriately. Test subject balances well, even on the uneven boards of the bridge. Test subject smells and sees his treats normally. Test subject eats treats without complication, and holds treats in his hands without losing his grip."

This continues for a couple of hours until the Biologists begin to arrive. Dr. Guzman arrives first, his days must start early now that he's watching over my family. He stops at the foot of the bridge. "Isla... what are you doing?"

"I finished the first test of the solution. I cleared the implant out of Tippy's brain," I tell him with monotone expression. I don't look away from Tippy, who sniffs and scratches at the wood, searching for treat crumbs. "Test subject shows signs of a healthy appetite," I say out loud, forgetting to write it down.

"When did you do this, Isla?" Dr. Guzman asks gently.

"I didn't sleep. I couldn't. And I didn't want to be worthless. See? I finished the project. Now we can get the implants out of Victor and Phoebe and Joe and me. I don't have to listen to Gunther anymore. I'm not worthless and I'm not a monster."

I hear how crazy I sound, but between my lack of sleep and Gunther's words in my brain, I can't help it. "Sorry if I sound crazy. I don't want to. I just don't want to lose my mind like Mitchell did."

In my peripheral vision, I see Dr. Guzman gesturing to the other doctors to take Tippy and the notebook off my hands. He whispers for them to continue testing on a second rat, and to double check my notes, just in case. I don't fight it when they remove the leash from my hand or the notebook from my lap.

Dr. Guzman bends down to talk to me. "Isla, I'm going to take you to the infirmary, okay?"

"Okay. Any way you can give me some sort of sleeping pills that will absolutely knock me out?"

"Medicine like that won't work on you, Isla. Your DNA won't allow it." He grabs hold of my hand, which is still open as if the leash had never been taken from me. "C'mon. You'll feel better in the infirmary."

No, I think, I won't. It's not going to make me feel better seeing my mom grapple with her new metal parts or having a conversation about the baby with Eleanor. But where else can I go? Gunther is breaking me from the inside.