Bittersweet (Honey X Reader)

Chapter 33: Matters Of The Heart

~Honey's POV~

It was hard to imagine a girl quite like Reiko could want someone like me.

Almost impossible, according to the looks a few customers and even hosts nearby were giving us.

The poor girl- she could sense everyone's stares on her, yet continued to look at me with such determination I felt my heart break a little bit.

It wasn't like I didn't like Reiko, it's just that... We're too different.

Actually, that wasn't it at all.

Perhaps in another lifetime- another reality, I could've loved a girl like Reiko. I could've.

But, unfortunately, I didn't. And as much as I wanted to make her happy, I knew what I had to do.

It would be so much easier to lie right now- to pretend to devote myself to her.

But I couldn't.

Because there was a funny, geeky, awkward and cripplingly cute girl sitting a couple seats behind me, laughing her head off to a joke her supposed 'guest' had just told the punch-line of.

And as much as I wanted to make Reiko happy, I wanted to make [Y/N] happy twice as much.

And lying to Reiko, saying that I did in fact like her as well, would only hurt her in the 'long run'. To find out the person you loved and thought loved you actually didn't and had been lying? What a horrible feeling.

Worse than rejection.

But I had no idea what to say. How to say 'I couldn't give her my heart because it already belonged with someone else' without it actually hurting her.

She was brave- braver than me.

"Reiko, I..." Her breathing hitched. "I'm sorry, but I can't give you my heart."

The nearby customers nearly fell over their chairs. In any other situation that may've been considered comical.

"You're a lovely girl," It was true- even if the other guests and hosts nearby who could hear me seemed to believe otherwise (they glanced from her to the Black Magic Club's door and back to me in disbelief). "And you're very passionate about what you love to do, which is something I admire, but..." Wow, was this harder than I imagined. The look she was giving me. The look other students were giving me. They were all so suffocating. "I can't love you  the way you love me."

Silence. Awkward silence.

Then the saddest, most bitter smile I had ever seen in my life emerged on her face, gracing her features with a harrowing emotion I couldn't even describe.

"I understand." Oh, thank God. The sadness evaporated, leaving only bitterness and I blinked in shock. "What I can't understand, is why she's better." She knew? Was I really that obvious? Did [Y/N] know? "I don't get it. She... She doesn't even do anything to get your attention- she hasn't even worked for your affections, yet..." She sighs, and surrounding female students hold their breath; Hikaru and Kaoru look at each other like they knew exactly what she was about to say and wasn't in the least bit happy about it. "You give her your affections. She hasn't done anything but talk with you and I just don't understand what she could possibly have done to make you-" she pauses, like something had made its way up her throat. "Love her. Why you love her. I don't understand." I hear the scraping of chairs behind me, but don't look away.

Despite everything, she still looked at me with determination- a different kind than before. She wants reasons.

I give her a small smile. A smile I didn't know I was entirely capable of.