Bittersweet (Honey X Reader)

Chapter 27: Selfishness

A Day Later

~

For once, You look about the room and smile softly, a little proud of yourself. I'm the first here!

You first walked about the room, taking in the surprisingly calm effect of an empty music room, and then stood in the middle of it all. A glance at the clock in the corner (Haruhi had brought it in a while ago) revealed that you approximately had fifteen minutes before you were supposed to get here.

Something about an empty room seemed so satisfying to be in. You could do anything- anything you wanted without getting into trouble. Well, as long as you hid away the evidence, of course.

You stood in the middle of the room, looking around and observing.

There wasn't much to observe- just the normal state of Music Room #3. But it was quieter, more peaceful, lonelier. It made you feel a little uneasy, and a little awkward for some strange reason. You continued to look around, this time taking more of it in- this time, though, you discovered the fact that almost everything in this room has small, intricate patterns engraved into them that can barely be seen unless you get close up.

You were about to head toward the dressing room (Kyoya had someone design you a 'hosting dress'- basically the male uniform, but a dress. It was supposed to have arrived today) when you heard it.

Barely audible over the 'click' of your heels against the marble ground, but you heard the noise of someone else's heels hit the marble ground before you turned toward the direction you thought it came from.

No one was supposed to be in here- all students, girls and boys, know what this room is used for, and that unless it is being used for a substitute classroom or any one of the hosts (mainly Kyoya) give you direct permission, that you're not supposed to be in here. Your heart skipped a beat when you realised someone else must be in here.
"Hello? Excuse me, but the Host Club isn't open yet." You called out, assuming some girl must've tried to get in here earlier than the other hosts to try and gain a glimpse of their precious host before anyone else could.

"Oh, it's you. I didn't know you were a host, [Y/N]." You almost jump when you hear Reiko answer as she moves out from her hiding spot (behind a column). She, like always, looks at you with a slightly blank expression, but unlike usually, she's smiling ever-so-softly.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah..." The air between you two was extremely awkward, but she didn't seem to pick up on it at all.

"So... Uhm..." Her calm composure seemed to melt away as she looks to the ground and her cheeks gain colour. "[Y/N], I was meaning to ask you... Could you help me out?" Your stomach seems to sink as numerous thoughts fly through your head. What could she mean?

"With what?" You ask, and her blush only grows, which makes your stomach sink even lower.

"Well, you see, someone has stolen my soul -you know him well- and I want to steal his." You don't know how to react. Should you play along? Turn her down? Go all yandere and tell her to never talk to Honey again? No- you couldn't do that. If not for your morale, for Honey. You take a small breath to calm your nerves- this shouldn't be so nerve-wracking, [Y/N]... Calm down.

"I-I'm sorry, Reiko, but I don't know any methods to... To capture a soul." She looks up at you and her gaze seems to be slightly questioning. You look away. For some reason, you feel a little guilty. Okay, more than a little guilty. "M-Maybe there's someone else who can help you." She blinks before nodding.

"Thank you for your help. I'll be taking my leave. Goodbye." She seems to have gone back to her usual calm and slightly eerie self as she walks back out of the room. The click of the door behind her leaves you standing still.

You feel guilty. You really, really, really liked Honey. And it seemed like Reiko also liked him, even though she didn't seem to completely understand her own emotions. But then again, you should be used to this- Honey was a host. All hosts had admirers- some a little more crazier than others, but admirers none-the-less. This thought brought you many more anxious thoughts- why on Earth would Honey have a crush on a girl like you, when there were other more appealing girls. Richer girls. Prettier girls. Funnier girls. Better girls.

And then came the guilt again. You were close to Honey. Maybe not the closest, but still a friend (you hoped). You could help any one of those girls -Reiko included- but due to your own desires, you didn't. Wasn't that the definition of selfishness?

What would your parents say? What would Honey say?

Is this selfish? Am I selfish?

Your face crumpled as you thought harder about it, not even bothering to pull yourself out of the thoughts.

"[Y/N]-chan~! You're early!" You inhaled as you heard the adorably familiar voice of Honey calling you by the door. You turn to Honey, trying your hardest to smile.

"Hello Mitsukuni!" You try to sound happy, and thankfully he seems to buy it. You think about questions to ask him, like: Am I selfish? Are we friends? Do you... Do you like me? But you'd never be brave enough to ask them.

"[Y/N]? Are you okay?" When you blinked, you found yourself back in reality and way closer to Honey than you thought. He was leaning up toward your face, eyes bolder and more serious than you had ever seen them.

"Oh, I'm okay. Don't worry about me." You wave your hand and turn away before you allow yourself to start blushing over the closeness, and the seriousness of his expression. A little part of you felt like you were betraying him, but that feeling was replaced by a small twinge of sadness as you realised... You weren't betraying anyone.

"[Y/N]-chan, are you sure you're okay?" You stop walking. The tone of his voice was borderline heartbreaking. Betrayal or otherwise, guilt couldn't describe this feeling. His voice sounded guilty- like it was somehow his fault that you weren't feeling well. And although on some levels that was true, he didn't need to feel guilty- he didn't deserve it. I need to suck it up, and be happy. For him. You smile, thinking of happy thoughts as if you were conjuring a Patronus and turn around.

"Perhaps not now, but soon." You smile, but the expression on his face seems to tell you that it's a little out of place. You continue to smile though, because the only other option was to run away, and as much as you knew you needed to, you weren't quite ready just yet.

Soon, but not yet...

Soon.

Honey looks at you for a moment, looks away, looks back, and starts to grin. He grins like he's holding something back, and he grins like it's just for you.

It simultaneously breaks your heart and makes it flutter, which hurts more than any heart pounding situation you've ever been in.

"Well, wanna have some cake with me?" He's grinning, and it's pulling you away. Pulling you away from the thoughts telling you that it's selfish to go with him. Selfish to believe -even for just a moment- that he likes you more than just a friend.

Not yet.

"Sure, Honey. I'd absolutely love to."

"Yay~!"

~

A/N: How was that? Well, once again, I am really sorry about the wait! Some personal issues and such have been keeping me down lately (I wonder if it's evident in my writing??), but it's nothing you need to worry your pretty little heads about! I'll never say that again- I feel like I somehow violated you... I am so sorry.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter even though it was mainly just filler, and please give me any feedback you seem worthy- no holding back!

See you soon (hopefully)!