Hidden Carry//LCS

Chapter 12: Breathe

LCS Summer Split Week 6- Wednesday Morning

I woke up again, this time in a bed. I slowly opened my eyes that were crusty from... crying? I didn't remember crying, it must've been in my sleep. I yawned before rolling over to see Jensen. I looked down and saw his arm around my waist. 

I smiled a bit before letting myself up to use the restroom. He was still in the same position when I returned so I slipped under my arm and scooted back so that we were spooning. 

I let myself think a little bit before it hit me. Ax was gone. I didn't even get to say goodbye to him, he was just gone, just like that, out of the world, nothing I could do about it. 

I silently screamed in my head before letting a few hot tears stream down my cheeks. It became too much, I started to change my breathing and Jensen must've sensed it because he stirred a little. I felt his grip tighten around my waist. I tried to let myself relax but it didn't work. 

Before I knew it I was sitting up shaking and screaming bawling my eyes out. 

Jensen rose quickly next to me wrapping his arms around me. 

My breathing quickened and the door to the room flew open. 

"What's happening?" Sneaky said as he scanned the room. I saw Jensen mouth something before Sneaky ran out of the room. A few seconds later he returned with a warm towel and a cup of tea.

"Lyn, I want you to take this." Jensen said as he handed me the warm towel. I put it behind my neck and tried to calm my breathing again, nothing was working it was too scary. I felt myself going numb from not breathing correctly and the edges of my vision got dark, 

"J-J-Jensen h-help m-me." I managed to sputter out as thoughts of being with Ax flooded my mind. 

I tried to look at Jensen who seemed to be racking his brain trying to figure it out. He suddenly swooped me up in his arms and ran into the bathroom, placing me on the counter. 

I let him lift my shirt up and pull my shorts and socks off, leaving me in my bra and underwear, but I was too exhausted to care. I heard the bath running and tried to find something to hold on to while he was gone to soothe myself. He returned quickly and held my hand before guiding me to the bathtub, he helped me in and kept telling me it was going to be okay. 

"Shhh." He cooed. I could barely hear him over the sound of my whimpering. 

My best friend was gone, he was never coming back, ever. The thought swirled through my head of losing the first thing I ever loved, it was unbearable. I didn't know how to handle it. I felt myself choking on tears again as Jensen was trying to tell me something. 

I felt my muscles relax but my brain just wouldn't calm down, my tears finally stopped only because I was exhausted from trying to claw at my own skin. 

I was mentally exhausted and had no way out.

"Ax w-why." I muttered out as Jensen turned his head to look at me. 

"Are you okay Lyn?" He asked. I raised my chin so I could look into his eyes. 

"What's happening to me." I said, as I felt a wave of tiredness wash over me. 

"I wish I knew babe." He smiled before picking me up out of the water and wrapping me in a towel. He carried me to his room and gave me one of his tshirts to wear. "We are scrimming at the studio today, is it okay if I bring you?" He asked, I gave a gentle yawn and pulled his shirt down over my thighs as I nodded. 

He handed me my shorts from earlier and helped me put them back on. He offered me my tshirt but I declined, I wanted his scent, it was soothing. 

He picked me up again and carried me downstairs. A few of the boys whispered among themselves but it wasn't anything that I was worried about. 

More thoughts of Ax flew through my head as I tried to figure out how to suppress them, I knew I wouldn't get full closure until his funeral. 

I tried to focus on Jensen's breathing as he carried me to the shuttle waiting outside. He buckled me in before sitting next to me and moving my seatbelt so that I could rest my head on his lap. 

I heard the other boys get in before the shuttle headed towards its destination. 
_____________

I have no idea what I'm doing with this book. You are so welcome

--Ris<3