Tourist Trap

Chapter 10

"Hey, I only did that once!" the bulldog responded defensively. "It was a sexy little Chihuahua. I couldn't resist." 

"Don't listen to him," the polar bear said. "He's a liar and a cheat. And he likes to laugh at crippled people!" 

"Oh, you're just making stuff up out of nowhere now, aren't you, Bobby? Well, two can play at that game! I heard you planted a bomb down at the orphanage and then made fun of all the orphans when they came running out crying!" 

"Lies! Nothing but filthy lies!" the polar bear shouted. 

"Excuse me," Sarah said. "I really hate to interrupt, but I'd like to get a ride." 

"I'm trying to give you a ride, miss, but this little ankle-biter is detaining us," the polar bear growled. 

"Oh, ankle-biter, am I?" the bulldog yapped. "Those are fightin' words! You may be bigger than me, but I'll give you a beatin' to end all beatings!" 

"Yeah?" the polar bear replied. "I'd like to see you try!" 

"You're lucky there's a lady here," the bulldog straightened its shirt collar. "I never resort to violence in the presence of a female. It's unseemly." 

"Well then, would you care to excuse us for a moment, miss?" the polar bear asked. 

"Um, no, I'd really just like to get a ride from one of you two. I don't really care whom. Could you please find it in your hearts to resolve your differences later?" 

"You heard the lady, Bobby. She told you to take a hike," the bulldog sneered. 

"Did not!" the polar bear shouted. "See, I told you he's a big liar! Besides, I saw her first! Go find your own customers and stop trying to steal mine!" 

"Aw, no fair!" the bulldog whined. "You always get to take the pretty girls." 

"That's because chicks dig me," the polar bear puffed out its chest and smiled. 

"Sure, whatever." Sarah was starting to lose her patience. "Do either of you know how to find the prophet known as Skip?" 

"Skip?" the bulldog repeated. "Sure, he's an old personal friend of mine! Hop in my rickshaw and I'll take you right to him!" 

"Don't lie!" the polar bear shouted. "You're not friends with any prophets! Why would they be friends with you? The first time they met you they could just look five minutes into the future. That's long enough to foresee the first idiotic words that would come pouring out of your mouth and then they'd avoid you like the plague." 

"Here's a prediction for you," the bulldog snarled. "You're gonna get knocked out by me in the not so distant future!"  

"Yeah? I'd like to see you try it!" 

"Enough!" Sarah shouted. "You! Timmy I think your name is?" She indicated the bulldog. "Do you really know how to find Skip?" 

"Who?" Timmy asked. 

"You know, Skip. Your close personal friend?" 

"Oh yeah, Skip," he stuttered. "Uh, sure. I can find him. I can find anything." 

"You're such a liar," the polar bear said. "You can't even find your own house. Listen, miss, I admit I don't know exactly where Skip lives, but I am familiar with the prophet sector. I can take you there and we can ask around and I'm sure we can locate him. I'll even give you half-price on the fare for wasting your time dealing with this buttmunch here." 

"Shut up, jerkface!" Timmy shouted. 

"Well, thank you. Bobby was it? I do believe I'll take you up on your generous offer." She climbed into his rickshaw and took a seat. It had a soft orange cushion in it and was really quite comfortable.