The Lucky One(Riley depression story)

Why?- Chapter 2

Farkle hadn't slept at all that night; instead, he stared up at the glowing planets he'd placed on his ceiling a few years back.

They weren't anything grand, just simple little models of each planet with a green outlines to them. He'd always had a fascination with the universe and its complexity beyond human understanding, so one day he thought, why not?

That night, he had specially glanced at a small and round Pluto. He'd never told anyone, but he'd placed it up there knowing how much Riley cared for the little forgotten planet. It was strange just thinking about how a girl like her, so joyful and full of hope, could cry herself to sleep with this mentality that she had no one.

Then again, having grown up with someone that suffered from depression, he'd learned just how much of a toll depression could take on a person.

Aunt Roxanne was only fourteen years older than him, with too many red highlights in her dark hair and his mother's same green eyes. She'd lived with their family for as long as he could remember, seeing as his grandparents refused to have her around due to her pursuing an artistic career, and would often babysit him when his parents were out of town. Roxanne was loud, outspoken and the cheekiest person he knew (Maya was the second), and Farkle would often admire just how care free she was.

That is, until he woke up one morning to find his parents talking to a crying Roxanne. She had thick bandages over her wrists and the deepest frown he'd ever seen on her; she didn't look like the Aunt Roxanne he knew. He walked in, asking what had occurred only for his mom to take him to his room and give him a heartfelt talk about what had happened.

She told him that Roxanne was just feeling sad, but eventually she'd get better if they gave her time. It did work for a little while, Farkle giving her the biggest hugs whenever he saw her, but soon he'd become aware by the long conversations between the adults and the cries at night that she wasn't getting better. Throughout the years after that, it was in and out of the hospital for her, but eventually Roxanne did get better and ended up moving to New Orleans on her own.

Maya and Riley knew who his aunt was, the three of them having interacted a few times, but Farkle never did get around telling them about what was really happening. He trusted them, he really did, but it just seemed like a private and sensitive topic.

Now, knowing what Riley was going through broke his heart. Her depression might've been different, but just thinking about her fighting her battles on her own just tore him. Roxanne had nearly gotten through, and she had his family to help her through it.

Before he knew it, the early sunlight was making its way through his closed curtains and he rose up to get ready for school. He decided to wear a simple black t-shirt, a black beanie, dark pants and his gray sneakers. Making himself a quick cereal and eating in the dinner table alone again (his father and mother had another fight, which usually meant that his father was off at work and his mother was anywhere but there), he then grabbed his backpack and drove himself to school.

There, near his locker, he was greeted by his smiling girlfriend Isadora along with the rest of their group, which included a nervous looking Riley. Isadora, also called by her last name Smackle, pulled him into an embrace, but his eyes were only the girl who anxiously looked at his every move. He could tell she was scared he'd say something to call her out, instead he went with a simple ''hey''.

''Hey, Farkle. How's it going?'' Lucas asked, with his arm draped around Maya. ''You missed the funniest thing just now. Maya just went up to Missy and –''

''That's awesome,'' he cut in, grabbing Riley's arm. ''Hey, Riley, remember when we did this?''

And with that, he pulled her towards the janitor's closet, rapidly closing the door behind them. ''Riley''

''Don't worry, I didn't'' she spoke softly, lifting up her pink sleeves and revealing no recent cuts. ''I knew you'd be mad''

He pressed his lips together, examining her closely. She too looked like she hadn't slept all night with even darker circles under her sad eyes and a lack of enthusiasm to her. Then again, he'd probably been the only one to notice after what had happened yesterday.

''Riley, tell me right now, what's making you do this to yourself?''

''Not right now, Farkle-'' she sighed.

He tilted her chin up so that their eyes were meeting, pushing a strand of hair away from her face. ''Then when? This has to stop before you end up doing something you'll regret''

''What's to regret? If I die, I die.'' she said, smiling gloomily.

Farkle had never heard more heart wrenching words than the ones that had just come out of her mouth. It felt like someone had just punched him in the gut, right where it really hurt, and within seconds he had pulled her in.

Blinking away the sudden tears that threatened to spill from his eyes, he gently rested his chin on her head. She didn't hug back at first, but then finally tightly embraced him back as she let out a low cry.

''Riles, please don't say that''

''I can't help it,'' Riley replied with a waving voice, the side of her face against his chest. ''This is too much, Farkle. I hate myself, I hate who I am. They're right, I should just kill myself''

Farkle pulled away, placing his hands on her shoulder. ''Who? Who said that?''

''Does it matter?'' Riley sniffed, as more tears fell from her eyes. ''They're right''

''Riley, if someone is bullying you again, you have to say something! Don't try to get through it by yourself!''

''It's not just that'' Riley shouted. ''Sometimes the thoughts just come themselves. I can't even look into a mirror without feeling disgusted with myself, Farkle. Everyone always thinks I have this perfect life, but I don't. I just... I can't''

''And you don't have to'' Farkle's voice broke. ''Please, just let us help''

The door suddenly busted open, and there standing was a confused Smackle. Soon her face twisted into worry once she saw a crying Riley. ''Riley, are you alright?''

Riley didn't say anything else; instead she wiped the rest of her tears away and rushed out of the closet as fast as she could.

Farkle watched her, unable to move from the current emotions running through him, as Smackle placed her hand on his arm. ''Dearest, what happened?''

He grabbed her hand, finally being able to breathe again and walking towards his history classroom. ''Come on, we need to talk to Mr. Matthews right now''

He wasn't going to hide this anymore; no, he loved Riley too much to do that.