I was a Mistake

Vacation

Can't you be good for just one day? Can't you try to not freak out every ten seconds? They won't love you forever at this rate. You'll scare them away before long. They'll hate you, just like everybody else.

"Stop," Noah fretted. He pulled me closer to his side, draped his arm around me, and kissed the top of my hair. "I can practically hear the thoughts in that pretty head of yours. We just want you to be happy. If you need to cry every once in a while, we'll wait it out with you."

Momma Winters was smiling warmly at me. She had become the mother I needed since my own was lousy. I had decided there was no need to be formally adopted by her, I'd call her Momma if I wanted to. I was worried about being adopted because of what it would mean for mine and Noah's relationship. Although Noah had never said anything about how he felt for me, Momma knew, and she knew how I felt as well. She had pulled me aside and told me that, no matter what, Noah and I could be whatever we wanted to be, even if she had to clear it with the judge first.

Everyone else had immersed themselves in an exciting game of "I-spy". Noah and I watched, him throwing in guesses every once in a while. Despite my stupid panic attack, I was beyond excited for our trip. It was the third trip I'd be taking with the Winters and the longest travel time. It would take us over nine hours to get there. Noah and I had filled our carry-on bag with entertainment so we wouldn't be bored, but I doubted I could be with this family next to me.

By the time we were finally called to board, I had dozed off on Noah's shoulder. Panic attacks always seemed to take everything out of me. He shook me awake gently and went to board the plane, still holding my hand. Because there were eight of us going, we almost took up three rows in the plane. Our row had Joseph as well. The rest fell in around us.

The trip to Hawaii was nothing short of amazing. It never ceased to amaze me how a plane could take us to a place so far away in less than ten hours. Take-off was rough and I think Noah was a little nervous, but I never was. I had had much worse things to be scared of in my short life. Between card games, reading, and sleeping, I watched the clouds below us, feeling like a bird. I felt like the luckiest girl alive.

❃❃❃

The resort was stunningly beautiful. Everything was so green, so blue, so vibrant. We had three rooms and would be staying for the week. We arrived around ten o'clock that night, so decided to unpack and begin the fun the next morning, even though I was eager to venture out and learn about as much of Hawaii as I could.

I would be sharing the room with Noah and Momma and Papa Winters. Noah and I had been given an embarrassing, very stern talk about sharing a bed. When we were threatened to be grounded if they found us doing things best friends usually don't do, I thought my face would turn permanently red. I'm pretty positive Noah's face matched mine. I was very happy about the sleeping arrangements, though. I was grateful that I had the people that were familiar with my nightmares and knew how to help me through them.

My nightmares were brutal flashbacks of my time with my birth mother, painful memories I desperately wished I could forget. Usually, I'd wake up screaming, drenched in sweat and tears. My foster parents lived down the hall from me and could hear me. Noah, even though he lived upstairs, somehow always knew when I had them and tried to be there when I needed him, even if I pushed him away. He'd stay up for hours with me, talking until I fell asleep again.

We went to bed and Noah and I made sure to keep as far away from each other as we could so we didn't get in trouble. I prayed that my nightmares would stay away for the trip so I wouldn't keep my temporary roommates up.

❃❃❃

I was in a really comfortable position. The air around me was filled with an intoxicating earthy aroma. I could hear shuffling around the room and what sounded like the opening of a door. I snuggled deeper into the pillow that was holding me, determined to fall back asleep, but then I heard the whispers.

"Look how comfortable they are," Ezekiel chortled.

"Maybe we should come back later." Joseph had the right idea. They were being too loud for my taste.

"I think we should definitely wake them up. They look too cozy to me." That deep tone was unmistakably Papa Winters.

"Aaron, they're sleeping! They don't know any better." I could hear Momma's sweet smile in her voice. Although I loved them all, I contemplated throwing a pillow at their heads, but not the one I was currently laying on, it was too warm and cozy.

Finally, the door opened and closed again, and the intrusive whispers dissipated. I allowed myself to fall back asleep.

❃❃❃

"Happy birthday, Eden!" my foster family exclaimed. I jumped awake in a panic but was held down by something heavy.

The first thing I noticed was everyone but Noah crowded around my bed. The next thing I saw was a gigantic pancake stack with whipped cream and candles. Finally, I felt a large arm draped across my stomach. The large arm belonged to a comatose Noah.

My immediate reaction was swoon. But then I saw Papa staring at me with raised eyebrows and my cheeks heated up. Embarrassing. I tried to lift his arms off of me, but he was dead weight.

I tapped on Noah's forehead. His eyes opened and he lazily grinned at me. I thought swoon, again, but then he saw that his entire family was around our bed and he jumped back so fast, he fell off the bed. I laughed so hard, I snorted. Noah got up and flicked my ear. I glared at him, but promptly beamed at my new family.

"You didn't think we'd forget your birthday, Silly!" Momma wrapped her arms around me and I squeezed her back.

"Can't believe you're fourteen!" Jenna hugged me next.

Zeke followed soon after. "Weren't you just, like, seven two weeks ago?" he grumbled.

Isaiah sneakily stole the bottom pancake from the stack and I glowered at him. Joseph slapped the back of his head. He sheepishly put it back on top of the stack, messing up the candles, but I didn't care.

"We've got so many activities planned today, Mini," Papa raved. "We're going to the beach, on a hike, and then back to the beach, and then dinner!" Papa seemed so excited, it was infectious. I jumped out of bed, eager to spend my birthday with my favorite people.

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