Give Me Some Of That Bass // phan

Miracle Mile

Phil's heart was racing in his chest but he had no idea what to say to all of that. This whole thing was new and different, and he didn't yet know if he liked it, but they were talking, at least.

"Glad we could help, then," Chris said, and Gray nodded and laughed. "Anyone else?"

Elliot crossed his arms over his chest, a few strands of blue hair falling across his eyes. He still looked entirely unhappy with the situation that was being forced on them, but he was well aware of the consequences of not participating.

"Fine, just--" he said, refusing to look at any of them directly. "Lately, I've been really...confused. About lots of things, what I want and how to deal with it. And stressing out about it all the time isn't good, I know that, but I never thought I had someone I could go to about it."

He paused, and they were all staring at him in silent anticipation.

"My parents are moving to Brighton," he said quickly, like he was trying to make it less impactful. "And...so am I."

It's like they all stop breathing at the same time, and the room goes dead silent and Elliot is still staring at his knees, picking at the frayed edges of his jeans with shaking hands.

"When?" Grayson breaks the tense silence, staring at Ellie with a look of shock and anger and sadness all mixed in one, and it's obvious why he's so scared. More than the rest of them, at least.

Elliot manages a small smile. "I'll be able to do FTC, don't worry--"

"That's now what I'm worried about, I--"

"Grayson, please." The pleading tone in his voice is enough to stop Grayson from whatever he'd been about to say. "I don't want to leave just as much as you guys don't want me to, but I don't have much of a choice, do I? Nowhere else I can go."

"I'm sorry, Elliot," Chris said gently, and it wasn't the best reassurance, but it was all he could offer. And he genuinely meant it. Phil didn't know what else he could possibly contribute, and Grayson stayed silent as well.

And it was his turn now, wasn't it? To confess any secrets he hadn't already outed or talk about his feelings. The attention was all on him now, and he barely managed to remember how to breathe properly.

"Look," he started slowly, tucking into himself and trying to seem as small as possible. "You guys know I'm not someone who's particularly good at 'expressing my emotions' and shit. This past month has been, a lot of things; messy and angry and miserable and almost intolerable. But it's also been....enlightening, I suppose."

He didn't know where he was going with this, but he wasn't lying.

"I fucked up big time with this guy I really liked, and I know I shouldn't blame myself, but it's hard because part of it was my fault. It wasn't just him and it wasn't just me, and I'm realizing that I shouldn't cut myself up about it. Slowly but surely or whatever. And Chris...I've been a real dick to you, a lot, and I don't think I can say sorry enough to make up for it, but I am so sorry. Grayson, we," he laughs slightly and shakes his head. "We're probably the most fucked up in the group, and I don't deserve the good things you've done for me; I don't deserve your forgiveness. And Elliot, you have to be the best guy I know. Thanks for, always being there and stuff, for all of us, no matter we've done. I'm gonna miss you."

He didn't think it would turn into that huge apology, but it feels fucking amazing finally saying it all out loud, and he didn't realize he'd started crying until the tears are staining his jean-clad knees that are pulled up to his chin. He's cried way too much lately, and he was sure this wouldn't be the last time.

A pair of arms wrap around him suddenly, circling his neck and pulling him into a tight hug, and he can't tell who it is but it doesn't matter because then it's two pairs, and then they're all hugging each other, a big pile of sobbing teenagers. Phil laughs and clutches the fabric of their shirts in his hands.

These guys are some of the most important people in his life, and right now, they're beginning to repair themselves. Slowly but surely.

***

a/n: what's up guys and gals and nonbinary pals

it's one in the morning and i'm binge watching scary movies, guess who's definitely not going to sleep tonight :') it's me if you didn't guess that

only three chapters left

peace :3