Rusty

Downward Spiral

"I can't believe you would do that!"
"Jessie I'm so sorry I was drunk and she was there"
"And I wasn't. Is that what your saying this is my fault"
"No no your"
"Oh so this is all my fault. Grow up rusty"
I felt my heart break as she walked away. I was just so emotionally wrung out. I couldn't sleep or eat, all I could do was think on how much I had messed up lately.
I fought with my emotions and my guilt over what I had done. The only comfort I had was my horses, until paint died. He was killed by colic a all to common cause of death in horses. Toby was my only friend even Colt was mad at me over this. One day a small ragged puppy was one our door step. He looked like a blue heeler and was covered in mud and dried blood. I began to wash him off with a damp rag and after he fell asleep I jumped on Toby bareback and raced to the neighbours. They had a Pygmy goat that I bought, she was milking very heavily for her one baby. I carried them back on Toby and tied the mom to the back porch with a long rope and a cheap dog collar. I milked the nanny goat into a small bottle and let the puppy nurse. I affectionately named him blue for his colouring.
Then Jessie was knocking on my door.
"Rusty I'm so sorry"
"I thought we were done"
"I wasn't thinking straight and I'm sorry for yelling at you"
I really didn't know what to do till blue ran out and put his front legs on her knee and stretched with a funny little noise.
"You got a new friend" she said cuddling him
"Only one I've got right now"
"Colt says ur looking rough, now I believe him"
"Oh I'm fine"
"Cmon rusty you've lost at least 20lbs. And you look like you haven't slept in days"
"Like I said I'm fine"
"Where's your mom" she asks as she walk into the living room
"She had to back home for two weeks to get some stuff straightened out"
"When was that"
"Two days ago"
"Well it looks like I've got to weeks to make it up to my boyfriend" she says pulling me to the bedroom
"Ok I gotta ask why the fuck is there a goat on the back porch"