Her Dilemma

p r o l o g u e

5 years ago

"Just go away!", I yelled at him as I felt hot tears welling up at my lower eyelids.

Slowly but reluctantly, he released my arm. His eyes plead for me to listen, just this once.

But I couldn't do anymore 'once', I just needed a never.

I clenched my jaw so tightly, my gum was starting to hurt. I felt my toes curled in my pink flats and suddenly, I hated everything.

I hated that pastel coloured dress I wore to meet him in, that I thought would make me look pretty, because I certainly felt well-dressed and elegant, something out of the ordinary dimme jeans and crop tops, the usual wears.

I hated how ugly I must have looked. The updo that I had taken time styling, for 15 minutes at least, must be so horrendous, he had to reject me. The make-up I had put on must be too thick.

The hands against my back started pinching themselves, and by that, for a brief moment, I felt like I deserved the pain and I liked how it felt, covering up the pain in my heart. I closed my eyes tightly and then opened them abruptly when I felt his body against mine. He held me tightly and whispered into my ears, "Felis. Hear me out. I-"

Before I could let him finish, I used all my might, making the new found loath I'd for him replace that naive, stupid love and let it take control of me again, as I was exhausted of worrying and putting in so much effort to make him love me only for it all to come to a nought.

I stepped back. "You led me on! Just say it! There's no explanation in all these stupidity! Why must you push me aside?! Just why must you make me the biggest joke on Earth?!"

My cheeks were heated with embrassment and the anger in my voice was conspicuous, and I'd shrieked everytime I opened my mouth. I'd tried to control my tone and at the least sound less like a lunatic, even though we were at a parking lot where little people could hear us, but I couldn't control the loath and the ache in my chest. I wanted to hit him and see blood but I hated myself when I felt that glowing but dying light in my heart that'd been trying to reach out to him, saying sorry at every cursed word I shot at him.

I suppressed it, dug a deep dark abyss and let it fall. Hoping the bit of me that couldn't stop caring for him, would never find it's way up to my heart and make me feel love ever again. Never.

"Oh, Felici-"

Then I turned my heels and ran. I had to get away from him. His scent was welling up my nostrils and I'd found it difficult to breath. I was so worn out I just wanted to give in, I wanted to let fate play it's game, be it's puppet, whatever. Hating on him was so energy-draining I just wanted to fall into his embrace again and just continue being his friend with benefits, even if it meant stabbing my heart a thousand times every time I heard him talking about other girls.

But no, I couldn't just pretend like everything would be fine the next day. Things would be different and awkward. We couldn't be called best friends anymore.

I had to flee.

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Disclaimers

The pictures attached to some chapters are taken from websites like google and tumblr. I'd edited them a little, such as enhancing, before attaching them.

This story is written by the username of Jarades and published only on Wattpad. Plagiarism is not tolerated. If there are other copies of this exact story published elsewhere or by another username, please kindly notify me.

This short story is based off solely on my imagination. Should any characters or events resemble that of a real life event or person, please be informed that it is purely coincidental.

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Note from 2016- With all seriousness aside, I genuinely hope you'd enjoy this little story that had been playing in my head for a year or so now, to which I'd finally decided to let it flow in ink on paper (not really because it's on a site so...).

Without further ado, enjoy. :)

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Start → November 19, 2016

End → (still on-going)

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