Perfruor | Psychopath | Jimin

11. Night Visits

In the mood of writing

Not in the mood of editing

Love is a disease. Think about it. A disease has different symptoms. When you're infected, it can be the reason for your headache, it can give you fever or even make you lose your mind. So does love. Love makes you do things you wouldn't have done in the first place, if it wasn't for the fact that you are in love. It's weird to think about it though, I mean if you haven't been in love before. I have, well, at least I think I am in love.

After I fell asleep in my office, while I was supposed to have a session with Jimin, I woke up in a hospital bed. At least I think I did. When I struggled to open up my eyes, Jimin showed up from nowhere and was also the one who helped me to see again, but then he later brought me out of the hospital, which was a bad move from his side, but a dumb move from my side to actually accept his offer.

If I am not mistaken I was brought to hell. I am sure it was hell. Except from the fire, almost everything seemed like hell. I'm sure it looked like hell too, but I couldn't see anything, so what I am saying might be wrong.

Something, which sounded like Jimin, held my hand for some time, only for me to realize that it wasn't Jimin, but a corpse. That specific incident was pretty stupid; why would Jimin hold my hand to begin with? I should have used my head, he would never do such a thing. He wouldn't never give me unnecessary touches.

Later on I was saved by another Jimin look alike, but as I started to question him he kind of gave the truth away; he wasn't Jimin. However, the real Jimin started to speak to me through my mind. I believe he helped me out of hell, even though he was the one who put me in there to begin with. One of the greatest question is;

Is Jimin the good- or the bad guy?

My imagination was never anything too colorful or abstract as a child, and I don't see a reason for why it should be any different now. I have seen what I have been shown. Nothing more, nothing less. I am not crazy. This has all happened. When I woke up after having visited hell, Yoongi ran over to my side and asked me what had caused my sudden fever. Not once did Yoongi or Jin ask me where I had been, which I interpreted as a reason to believe that they had not noticed me walking past them and into the hallway that day.

This gives me a reason to think that I didn't necessarily visit hell physically, but, mentally I still might have been there. All in all, this is confusing as hell (literally), but at the same time I think I understand more. I don't know exactly what I understand, but I do understand something.

From that day on I believe everything happens for a reason. Jimin didn't bring me to a place like that for nothing. He wanted to show me something, but I am not the brightest person you will meet, so I probably missed something. The incidents which occurred that day, were all a part of a bigger puzzle. That is what Jimin wants me to see. He wants me to put the pieces together. That's what I am going to do.

It's been two weeks since I set my foot outside of my house. Yoongi didn't see it as a smart choice for me to go out. He didn't stay at home with me though. I mean he tried to, but even I know that his work doesn't allow him to do that.

For two weeks I couldn't get out of bed. At first I didn't have any problems with it. I wanted to stay at home myself, but as the days went on I wanted to get out of the damn bed, not to mention that I had never been this sick before.

It's funny how I didn't feel sick, or nearly had the feeling of having caught a cold at least, when I was together with Jimin. I take it back. I take back what I said about being afraid of my patient, because I don't think there is anything to be afraid of. He is a human being, right? He is troubled and he has some issues, but he isn't dangerous. At this point this seems more like a lie I am telling myself, so that I won't get scared, rather than the truth. My mind is messed up, I don't even know anymore.