Break (A Kylo Ren Fanfic)

XXXVIII

This holding room is much nicer than the one I was held in multiple times while with the First Order.

There is a nice bed, a shelf with a few books that I will probably read if I am kept here for long, a desk bare of anything, and a small window. The window has bars over it, but it's obviously a safety measure.

I stay in the chair by the desk, spinning around in it slowly and mindlessly, completely bored and waiting for someone to come get me.

I want to be questioned. I want the rush of being around those that are trying to determine my loyalties and acting like I hate the First Order. I enjoy all of it, no matter how scared I am of failure.

If I remain afraid the whole time, what fun will it be? If I fail, I fail and that may terrify me, but I cannot be afraid of that. If I have a little fun while I'm here, I could still fail but at least I wasn't miserable the whole time here.

Time passes on and I still remain in this room all by myself with no word of how long I'll be in here, so I pick up one of the books off of the shelf and sit down at the desk to read it.

As I delve into the book, I see words completely unknown to me. I assume they are a dialect of this specific system so I simply try to best make out what the word means before moving on.

I read page after page, trying to figure out anything I can about this system's culture.

The book seems to be a history text about how the Middle City came to be, which is actually the town I just walked through. It talks about how there was a war between races and eventually a truce was met. A treaty then formed and all the races lived in harmony and built the middle city as the only place where all races really mingle.

Outside of the middle city there are sectors where different races live and they all love separately yet there is nothing keeping races from one another.

From the way the book describes it, they all just have a peace about them so they don't try to mess with each other and some actually get along really well.

After reading for what felt like forever, I close the book and slide my chair away from the desk because my eyes are tired. I had hardly read more than fifty or so pages but I'd already absorbed so much.

This very city is built upon peace between the peoples of the system. They all just get along with each other for no other reason than the treaty that was formed. They don't want to have a superior race or go to war for that. I'm sure there are those that do want that but they must be a minority.

Just those few pages showed me a little bit about how to make my next steps to gain their trust.

"Accommodate their culture. Take it as your own but be believable. You just escaped the terrible First Order and you are innocent. So don't act like the epitome of the culture. Just coincidentally have their values in your mind," Kylo says. He leans over the table to look at me in the eyes as I absorb what he is telling me.

Today he has been going on nonstop about how the culture will be different than any I've ever known and how I have to be able to act the part better. It's almost redundant at this point how much he says stuff like this.

So I rest my eyes for a few minutes before picking the book back up and continuing to read, patiently waiting for someone to begin testing me.

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I finally finish the book before I put it back on the shelf and move to the bed, feeling the full weight of my exhaustion taking my body under control.

It has to have been hours since they put me here and still no one comes to learn more about me, so I decide I might as well let myself sleep and rest up so that when they come I'll be able to answer sharply and act well.

Despite how tired I actually am, I cannot find sleep. It simply won't come. Instead, every time I close my eyes, I see Kylo.

I see us in the training room. Kylo trying to push my limits further and further, fighting me with ease.

I see us in the library. Kylo droning on and on about what I am to know, how I am to act, and who I am to be.

I see us together. Kylo using me for his needs time and time again in my room, his, and other various places.

Kylo using me. That's all he's ever done really. He uses me for his personal and political needs. He is using me. He always will be.

And I guess I've been using him.

I've used him to stay alive, to gain strength and power, and for my own personal needs.

I wonder if that is all we will ever be: two people using each other.

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Wow I miss writing so much but guess what! I just had an idea for an add-in for the plot that I am very excited about so stay tuned!

Those of you that are still loyal to this book TYSM because without you I couldn't keep writing!

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