Michelle and Malcolm In The Middle (Malcolm In Middle Fanfiction)

13|We've Got Problems....Bug Problems|

"$90 for a toy?" Mom scoffs, getting followed by Malcolm who's begging for something that he says he 'needs' but everyone knows he doesn't really need it. I put down my pencil, this conversation being a reason for me to take a break on my homework. "It's not a toy." Malcolm objected as Mom put the laundry basket on the end of the iron board table.  "It's a robotics kit. You build a little mechanical rover. It teaches you about electronics and engineering."

"Does it teach you to pick up your socks?" She retorted, taking a shirt out the basket and beginning to iron it. "Cause that I'd be interested in." Malcolm rolled his eyes not amused by her sarcasm. "Besides, son robots are evil." chimed in Dad who was sitting at the table with me, doing his taxes. Malcolm and I frown. "What?" 

"Westworld, Terminator the creepy maid from The Jetsons. How much scientific proof do you need?" said Dad.  Of course his reasoning for being creeped out by robots is invalid and what kind of grown man is afraid of robots? Only my Dad.

"Mom!" Malcolm groaned. "Malcolm, no!" Mom snapped. "If you want this thing so badly pay for it with your own money. You're starting to baby-sit next week. Just save up."

Yep, that's right. Malcolm got a job, leaving me the only smart one in the house for the week. I'm so excited...not really. 

"I don't even know what they're going to pay me!" 

"I'll tell you what they'll pay you." Mom answers him. "What all jobs pay less than you're worth and just enough to keep you crawling back for more. Now go on. It's bedtime." She looked at me. "You too, Missy. Go on." 

I sighed, getting out of my chair, and walking to the bathroom with Malcolm. And that's the way discussions go down in this family. We tell them our needs (wants) and they say no. Then Dad reveals another cartoon character he's afraid of. 

We walk into the bathroom to see Reese and Dewey brushing their teeth. I reach between them to grab mine while Malcolm frowns at Reese. "You butt-wipe, that's my toothbrush."

Uhh...ew.

Reese shrugged. "So use mine."

"You can't just take someone's toothbrush." Malcolm argued. He held out his hand. "Give me that."

"Fine." 

Oh no. 

Reese walked right over to the toilet and dropped the toothbrush inside. "Oops."

  And too top everything off, Malcolm took the toothpaste and squirted it on Reese's shirt. I gasped for  a second, then erupted in laughter. I couldn't help it, it was just so funny. I made a horrible mistake of laughing because Reese took the toothpaste from Malcolm and squirted it in my hair. MY HAIR! MY FREAKING HAIR!

And that was the moment the World War 2 broke out. 

Before you know it, I was on top of Reese, gouging his eyes out and he had Malcolm in a head lock. "You idiot!" I yelled angrily as he screamed in pain. The toothpaste from my hair and Reese's shirt got on Malcolm, it was just a mess. Dewey tried to jump in to help take Reese down but he ended up getting pushed into the toilet. 

My Mother stomped inside the bathroom her eyes full of pure anger. "That's it!" she yelled. "Bedtime was 20 minutes ago." She pulled us apart and started shoving us into our bedroom one by one. "Go to bed! Go to bed!" As soon as she stepped into our room, she stomped on a bug in agitation. "Hal, bring the spray!"

I frowned at my pasty hair while she took Reese's dirty shirt off.  "I haven't rinsed yet." he complained. "Only kids who behave themselves get to rinse." she retorted.

Now we were all going to have to sleep like this. You know how long it's going to take to get this toothpaste out of my hair in the morning. And as usual it's all Reese's fault! "Honestly, every night we go through this!" Mom went on. She went over to Malcolm and Dewey's bed where Malcolm was wiping his face with his dirty balled up t shirt. "Mom, can I have a story?" Dewey asked sweetly. Malcolm tossed her his shirt and she caught it.  "Once upon a time there was a little boy who made his mother so crazy she decided to sell him to the circus."

"An evil circus?" he asked.

"No, a nice one with monkeys."

Great story Mom...not. 

Dewey smiled obviously very pleased. "Thank you."

Mom left and in came Dad with the bug spray. He turned to our wall that had the book shelf against it. "Ah, wait, wait, wait, wait." he said putting the bug spray on the floor. "I think I see where they're coming from." He crouched down where their was a small rip in our wall paper. "Ah, you cannot hide." He start tearing the wallpaper apart until their was a huge hole. 

I don't know what he saw inside that hole but it caused him to have the worst freak out I had ever seen.  He jumped up so quick taking the top off the bug spray. My jaw dropped seeing the bugs from the hole, crawl out and unto the floor. Dad started jumping around like he was having a seizure, spraying every bug in sight. It was pretty funny to see him freak out like that, I had to admit.

He threw the can at the hole, and finally calmed down. Looking at us and panting. He clapped, "Okay, come on, kids. We're all camping out in the den tonight." He quickly turned to leave. "Here we go. "