Black Secrets & White Lies [On Hold]

Chapter 7 - Party Time

But it doesn't matter.

It never will.

*****

Music drummed in my head, every beat rattling my skull, thrumming through my heart. I swear my body vibrated because of it. "Who's house are we at?" I said to Kristy, who was already pulling away to mingle in the crowd. The realisation frightened me. Where was I?

"What?" She yelled at me.

"Who's house are we at?" I shouted back.

"Does it matter?" She said, grinning.

"Where are we?" I said, but Kristy was already out of sight throwing a quick 'I can't hear you' over her shoulder. Slowly, I walked to a corner of the room and sunk into the wall wishing I would go right through it. Why had I gone? What was the point?

"You better keep your word," said a voice.

"Hey, Lila." I said.

"I'm not kidding, Rose. People have bet big time on you saying yes. They either recon you won't turn Riley down, or are too soft to do anything about it. I'll lose out big time if you don't have the guts."

"Soft?" I spat, my eyes growing dark "I'm not bloody weak, I never will be." I clenched my fist, anger rising in my head.

"Woah, ok, don't freak out on me," said Lila, holding up her hands.

"Sorry," I said "got a little carried away." I sighed, scanning the crowd for familiar faces. The sooner the stupid boy came and spoke to me, the sooner I could get out of this place. How had I even looked forward to the party? Why?

It was before my mood was broken by John. By the warehouse. By John again. I didn't need reminding...I didn't need to be reminded it was my fault.

All my fault.

Always would be.

A tear hung in my eye, threatening to spill but I pulled it back with such force I had to smile.

A fake smile, of course.

I was pulled from my thoughts by laughter beside me and I turned to look at Lila and Liam, joking about something. "Hey there," said Liam, waving.

"Hi," I said.

"This is a party you know," Liam came to stand beside me and tugged at the sleeve of my jacket.

"I know...I'm cold." I said. Truth was I was worried about scratches. Marks. What if I'd missed something? And my coat was dark. I blended in better, I almost became the wall.

"Lies," said Liam, smiling. "Take it off. You only stand out more if you have it on, people are giving you funny looks."

"How did you-?"

"The look on your face. You looked as if you wished you were a part of the air."

"I guess," I shrugged off my coat and folded it up small enough to stuff inside my bag that hung at my side. The creases would be horrendous to get out but I'd worry about that when the time came.

"I suppose you don't know anyone," Liam laughed "ok, stupid thing to say. Of course you don't know anyone. I know what it's like...to be alone. The new guy. I get dragged off to places with my Dad sometimes and I don't know anyone. The worst time to be alone is when you're in a crowd, right?" Liam sighed "but you know, you don't have to stand here all alone. You can come stand with me, or I can stay standing here...but maybe you'd like to meet some other people too."

Something about Liam's words made me think...although I couldn't quite put my finger on what. Perhaps it was because he was being so nice...because he understood. "I wouldn't want to keep you," I said.

"Then I guess you'll have to come with me then, won't you?" Liam pulled me other to a few people, it was hard to distinguish small groups standing together since everyone seemed to drift around or dance or whatever it was they were doing. "Rose, this is Aaron, Aaron this is Rose." I looked at the boy with sandy coloured hair and eyes so dark you could barely see where the iris met the pupil. He grinned at me, nodded, and said hi. "Aaron isn't a bad guy, but it's best you meet him now before he's drunk and out of his mind."

"Just because you don't drink, Liam." Laughed Aaron.

"Well-" Began Liam.

"You know, I've never seen you wasted." Said another guy I didn't know the name of.

"It's because Liam has this crazy thing about staying sober." Aaron said.

"I just don't really fancy ending up on the floor, passed out at the end of the night." Liam folded his arms.

"You don't know what you're missing, man." Said Aaron "what about you, Rose? Do you drink?"

"No," I shook my head and Aaron raised an eyebrow. "Well...not at parties. Only at home." When I'm sad. When I'm angry. When things are just too bad to think about... "Not at parties. Like Liam said, I don't really fancy waking up on the floor in the morning with no idea what's happened to me."

"Darn," said Aaron, "and I hoped you'd be drunk enough to give Riley a go."

"You betted too?" Said Liam.

"Sure," Aaron sipped his drink "I don't expect Rose to go with anyone like him while sober...I mean, look at her." He nodded, eyes looking at me in a way that made me want to run and hide. "You aren't one to throw yourself at someone, I can tell. But, come on, you could have anyone. You're-"

"I think you've said enough." Said Liam, glancing at my red face. I wanted to run so bad.

"What?" Aaron laughed "it's a compliment. Why, I'd-"

"And I'd rather you didn't." I snapped, my voice hard. This conversation had gone on long enough.

"Sorry girl, didn't mean to touch a nerve. But if you ever wanted-"

"No, I don't." I said "you said yourself, I don't throw myself at people. I'm not about to start now."

"I'm not a bad guy," Aaron shrugged "you just need to spend some time with me."

"And that went out the window when you started this conversation. Be careful, Aaron. I'm not one to be pushed around." I turned to leave and crashed into someone. I muttered my apologies as he caught me by my arm.

"Well hello there," the boy purred. "Looks like you're falling at my feet already," he chuckled at his own joke. "I'm Riley, babe. Heard of me?"

*****

A/N: So, pretty long chapter. I'd love to hear from you guys - thanks so much for reading :)