Petrichor

what you might not know.

what you might not know

is that i used to cry

myself to sleep

because of

alcohol,

lies,

too many guys

&

the taste of cigarette smoke.

i used to dream

of death's kiss

lingering over me.

her cold hands

tickling at my

heart strings,

as she

slowly,

carefully,

unstitched

each tendril

one

by

one,

waiting for my

lowest

moment

(it wasn't like

it was hard

to pick one

or

anything).

i used to

sing lullabies

as i dragged my

bitten nails

along my once

stretch-mark-free skin.

over my arms,

hips,

breasts,

inner thighs,

&

wherever else

i felt like.

i used to stay up

all night,

because i lost a close friend

and every time i closed

my eyes

her beautiful face

&

bright pink

retainer-clad smile

all full of colour

would appear once more

and it was as though you had never

gone.

because people

drove you

to the point of madness

where you couldn't

take it

anymore.

so you took

a leap of

faith.

&

to make you proud,

i fight my way through

this horrible horde

called society.

&

i fight through

the alcohol,

lies,

too many guys,

&

the taste of ciggarette smoke

for you.

because you

are the one

who gets me through.

so now,

this isn't

'what you might not know'

this is more like

'what i do know'.