Do We Want This? // Camila Cabello x Shawn Mendes

Chapter #2

It's Monday. The good thing about Monday's is that both of my parents are at work and Cameron visits his girlfriend. This gives me time all to myself. I blast the music on my tv and sing and dance as much as I want. This definitely gives me freedom and joy. It always makes me forget that I have such a terrible life. Music just makes life less atrocious. It gives you butterflies and releases tingles. I wonder what my family would think of me being a singer. Why am I even asking? They wouldn't care if I packed my things and move to another country. Plus, it's a nice way of demonstrating to the neighbors what good music is.

I thought I'd give myself some time to kill until I find Shawn again. I drive to the frozen yogurt shop and get a plain vanilla. I personally think that frozen yogurt is better than ice cream. No crystals and it's creamier. I finish my yogurt and take a drive. I blast my music and let down my window and finally let myself go for the first time. I really need this more often. I always feel tense and controlled all the time. Even when I'm alone, I can hear my parents yelling, nagging, complaining, abusing, and mocking me. I breathe in the fresh air from the wind as I step on the accelerator. If only I was getting away right now. Feeling free from captivity. Being able to smile and have people smile back at me. Being asked 'how are you?' Asking if I'm okay. I can't wait for those moments.

Later, I stop by the post office and look for Shawn. Nowhere. I ask the middle aged man at the front counter and ask for him.

"Hello. Is Shawn working today?"

"No, ma'am. He'll be here on Wednesday."

"Okay, thanks."

"You're welcome."

I leave extremely disappointed. I could've gotten his contact number. I really want to get to know this guy. Do I seem desperate? I'm just hungry for someone to care for me. Someone who can make me feel relevant. He doesn't have to be a boyfriend to tell me he loves me. This isn't right. Parents are supposed to be the very first people to love and care for you before anybody else. Not the very last. It's not right for them to be treating you like some rat. Maybe my parents have some type of hating disorder, and Cameron just caught on and do what they do. I'm glad I never turned out like them.

I get home around 5 o'clock and my brother is scorching down potato chips on the couch watching tv.

"Where have you been?" He asks.

"Out." I try to make my way upstairs until he calls me back.

"Camila."

"What??"

"I know your secret." He says while taking a big mouthful of chips.

"I have no secrets. My life is boring and pathetic. How could I possibly have any secrets, Cameron?"

He follows me into my room upstairs, putting me in confusion.

"What do you need from my room?"

"Nothing. I just have a feeling you're being a rebel behind our parents' back."

As soon as I sit down, I feel something under me. I take it out from my bed sheets and I see a small bag of white, powdery substance.

"Is this yours??"

"No. I mean, yeah. It's none of your business."

"It is now! It's in my room! Why would you put this in my room??"

"To blame you. Obviously, you're the only one in this room so..."

"No! You will not put drugs in here and have mom or dad see it! These are yours and I'm telling them!"

"Oh please, mom and dad barely listens to how you feel. They always believe what I say. No matter what situation."

This dude is 23 years old and still living with his parents. How is he able to keep convincing them to let him stay here? Let alone convince them to believe that I take drugs?!

He leaves. Leaving me speechless and motionless. He has no right to control me! Why does he hate me so much? I have done absolutely nothing towards him to bring harm. I just wanna scream.

I go to take a hot, steamy shower. It's one of the best places for me to be alone. My mind starts to wander. I find myself thinking about him. Shawn. That's a really nice name for him. I wonder if he has a girlfriend. He probably does, I mean he's cute and seems intelligent. He seems way out of my league and probably looking to pursue something better in life. I don't know what to do with my life. I need help. I can't figure things out on my own. If only I can get some real guidance. My parents didn't do that.

I hop out the shower and put on some comfortable clothes. I sit on my bed and read some fanfiction online. This is one of the best ways to escape from the world. You truly feel like you're in the story with these characters. I try to write, but every time I compare my writing to others', I get discouraged. I don't even think I'm good enough to write a recipe. About twenty minutes later into reading, my parents burst through the doors like burglars and screaming as if they're being chased.

"CAMILA! CAMERON!" My mother yells

Me and my brother both come downstairs and see what the fuss is about.

"You're father and I won a trip to Aruba for two whole weeks!"

"That way we can be away from you guys." My dad says sounding rude and arrogant

"Really?! You guys are going away??" Cameron says with excitement, almost squealing

"Yesiiree! We go next week!"

"What are we supposed to do while you're gone?" I ask

"We couldn't care less about what you do. Go join a gang, have a party, get pregnant. For goodness sake's, you guys aren't kids, you're adults and start acting like it!!" My mom says storming off into the bedroom with dad falling behind.

You see what I mean? This is why I wanna run away. Forget about school. Forget about life. You do not understand how I feel. Having parents who never give a crap about you, make fun of you, mock you, yell at you and hit you. I've felt so depressed for so long, I think my heart's about to fall out of it's place.