It Felt Like Love « Niam/Narry

XIII.

Niall was a bit achy when he left the hospital, slowly climbing into Louis' passenger seat in the parking lot and reluctantly managed to buckle his seatbelt. Inwardly he knew he should've stayed a couple more days but he knew how much Holden was missing him, and he didn't want to keep him waiting any longer.

Mostly just wanting to take Holden home, where he belongs.

"I missed you daddy," Holden chimed from the backseat, smiling wildly at him.

Niall silently cringed as he angled himself back towards him, "I missed you too sweetheart. You been good for uncle Lou?"

He nodded, straining to grab the stuffed animal in the seat beside him. "Got you this," Holden held out the stuffed koala.

"Thank you, I love it." Niall went to reach for it but felt too much pain and resistance in his muscle, smiling instead. "Why don't you hold onto him for me, just until we get home."

"You alright," Louis murmured quietly, fading the radio towards the back of the vehicle. "I really think you should've stayed at the hospital. I had everything covered with Holden."

Niall shook his head, "Where Holden and I belong is at home — with Liam."

He rolled his eyes, "You and Holden belong at home, yes. But Liam belongs in a prison for what he —"

"Shh," Niall hushed him quickly. "Don't you dare. You weren't even there, you're assuming. I told you there was a break in."

"Not according to that Styles bloke," he scoffed.

Niall's expression hardened, "He knows just about as much as you do about that night, which is nothing. And I'd like it if we didn't have this conversation with my son present."

"Why?", Louis slightly snapped. "You'll allow him around a monster but you won't allow him to know the truth?"

He looked at him, sighing deeply. "He's a child, Louis — enough."

"Fine but the next time you end up —"

"Bleedin' 'ell, Louis." Niall huffed in annoyance, "Shut up about this whole thing. My head is pounding, I just want to get home."

He shrugged with a head shake, "Fine — whatever."

The rest of the car ride was quiet, aside from Holden's singing in the backseat. They reached the house within twenty minutes, Niall climbed out and went to get Holden but Louis was already helping him down from the vehicle.

Louis kissed his nephew goodbye, watching them walk up the pathway. Climbing back into his vehicle when Liam opened the front door, stepping out and picked up Holden — who quietly fussed in distaste.

Niall closed the front door behind them, sighing a breath of relief once he was inside. "Liam, can we talk?"

He set Holden down, "Yeah. Holden babe, there's some snacks on the table waiting for you."

"It's okay, go eat." Niall prompted in reassurance, "I'll be there in a second."

They walked into the living room once Holden had started down the hallway, both taking a seat on the couch and sat beside one another.

Niall cleared his throat, looking towards him. "I just want to say that I'm sorry for —"

"Wait," Liam stopped him quickly. "I'm sorry, I — ah. I had too much to drink that night and it should never of happened." He reached out and touched his husbands swollen cheek, "I didn't mean to do this to you, I swear."

He leaned into his touch, "It wasn't your fault. I made mistakes that night too and it's not going to happen again."

"I missed you and Holden," Liam moved towards him, closing the space between them and carefully kissed his lips.

"I missed you too," Niall murmured softly, finally feeling the affection he's been pinning for from his husband. "I'm happy to be home with Holden and you, I just want things to go back to normal."

"I know baby, they will." He kissed him again, mumbling his words against Niall's lips.

Niall put a hand on his chest, stopping his actions. "Holden's just in the kitchen, he'll hear us."

"Go put him down for a nap," Liam mumbled against Niall's neck, having moved his lips lower. "I'll meet you in the bedroom."

"I — I can't, um — he's too heavy. I can't carry anything over 10lbs. right now." He shamefully spoke, embarrassed he couldn't lift his own child.

Liam paused, pulling back and looking at him with an expression Niall hasn't seen in awhile — remorse. "I'll do it, I'll meet you upstairs."

He wordlessly nodded, allowing Liam to help him up onto his feet and guided him towards the staircase. Liam stood watching for a couple seconds, then went down the hallway to get Holden from the kitchen.

"You're going to take a nap," Liam announced as he walked into the kitchen.

Holden looked towards him, scowling. "I'm not sleepy."

"You will be, c'mon — up." He gestured as he picked up the open bag of crisps, grabbing the cup of juice and dumped it into the sink.

"Where's daddy?" Holden questioned quickly.

"Resting so c'mon, let's get moving upstairs." Liam huffed, "You can either walk yourself or I'll carry you."

"I can walk," he mumbled as he slightly stomped his way out of the kitchen and towards the staircase.

Liam didn't comment on his sass, just quietly followed behind him. "Alright lay down."

He climbed into his bed as Liam switched on the small telly, finding one of Holden's shows. "You nap, daddy or I will come wake you up when nap time is over. Goodnight."

Without another word Liam was closing the bedroom door behind himself and going down the hallway, finding Niall sat at the edge of the bed. Gently massaging his own shoulders, cringing at the initial pain.

"Niall, I..." his words trailed off.

He smiled, "Liam you don't have to apologize. I pushed you that night, I did this to myself. I don't blame you for anything. I love you."

Liam sat down beside him on the bed, looking at his face. The damage he had done, to the father of their child. "I don't know what's wrong with me, Niall. I don't know why I keep doing this to you and you keep.. you keep forgiving me and making excuses for me. Why?"

Those words were the last thing he ever expected Liam to say, he was stunned. "Liam, um — I. Ah, I don't know what you mean."

"I've repeatedly beaten you," Liam softly admitted with a sigh. "Our relationship has always been like this, even before we were married. Why would you marry someone like me, have a kid with someone like me." 

He gently touched his face, getting him to look at him. "You're a good man Liam." He murmured, "So you have some bad days, who doesn't. I love you and I always will."

Liam shook his head, "You're a fool, you should've left me the first time this happened."

"I'm your fool," Niall whispered as he wrapped his arms around Liam's waist, resting his head on his arm.

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A/N: sooooo raise your hand if you think Niall is an idiot. Although it's not his fault because Liam has abused him long enough that he's practically programmed to love and accept anything Liam does or says to him.

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