Illicit Adoration

Gone Guy

It was Monday morning. Callie hadn't heard from Derek since Friday night when he dropped her off at her home. She was hurting for some stupid reason. She felt like she needed him there by her side. Sadness had suddenly enveloped her after leaving him that Friday night. It was a type of sadness she didn't feel often. A deep one. She just needed him.

Derek was just nowhere to be seen. He didn't show up to school. He didn't text her. He didn't leave any information for the substitute. Once again, he had disappeared, at the worst time possible. Everything just seemed to be crashing down on Callie, and in the moment she wanted him more than anything... He wasn't there.

"Cal!" Ari ran up to Callie, and pushed on her shoulder. Worry crossed her face. She knew Callie wasn't doing well.

"Hey Ari..." Callie said quietly. She shut her locker door, and turned to face Ari.

"Why so glum?" Ari asked, pushing a piece of hair behind Callie's ear.

"I don't know..." Callie looked down at the history book in her arm, tracing her finger over the "H" in history. She thought of how that finger was entwined in Derek's only three days previous. His blue eyes haunted her thoughts. The thought of his lips left a tingling sensation on hers. He was playing with her feelings, and god, was it tearing her apart.

"Callie... Can we talk after school? Like, in private?" Ari pushed her glasses up and looked in the eyes of her friend. Eyes that radiated hurt. Callie inhaled a deep breath, and let it out slowly. She shook her head no. She couldn't tell Arianna. It wouldn't end well.

"I can't... I'm sorry Arianna," Callie hung her head, and walked off to last period. Going home never sounded so good.

Last period went slower than ever. Callie checked her phone for Derek's name every chance she got. She was on the verge of tears by the time the day was over. It was so odd how one night with him had changed it all. He asked her to never leave... But where was he?

The bell rang, and Callie made a break for the doors. She just needed to get out. She needed to be alone. The commotion of all the students talking about graduation, the teachers, and the cheers of early graduates was just a nuisance to her. Derek's voice was the only one she wanted to hear. His hands were the only ones she wanted close to her. His body, close to hers. And once again, he was gone.

Callie practically fell into her car. She let out a long, shaky sigh. The pain in her chest choked her, burned her throat. Tears stung her eyes, but didn't fall. She drove off, trying to control the pressure on the gas pedal.

She drove out towards the fields Derek took her to. Out towards where he lived. She didn't know exactly where he lived, but she knew she was close. She stopped the car at a pull off with a view of the fields.

Callie just sat there. She turned the radio down, opened the windows, and stared out at the open country. The ache in her chest seemed invincible. It just lingered there. She wanted so bad to just call him, but she knew better. She knew something as small as a phone call could mess everything up for her. So, she cried. She let her body relax, and the built up walls behind her eyes broke. Tears poured through broken down boundaries. It felt so strange, to be so sad and so lonely. So deprived. She just wanted him. She wanted to be loved by him.

The sun started to set. Callie seemed to have run out of tears. She just couldn't cry anymore. All she could do, was hurt. Dark clouds started to roll in, seemingly reflecting her feelings. How could Derek just disappear? After everything that happened only three days previous. It was quite disgusting, actually. He begged her, pleaded, that she would never leave. But now he was living against his own words.

She drove home in silence. Her eyes were swollen, her head throbbing. The outside world just seemed so unimportant. The steady falling rain was just another dumb thing in her life. Another thing to interrupt her day.

Callie parked her car at the apartment building's parking garage. She plodded up to her and her sister's apartment, her feet feeling like they weighed a ton. Her sister still wasn't home, and Callie didn't know when she would be. It could be any amount of time. Hours, days, weeks... Who knew.

The night went slowly. Callie finished up her finals, decorated her cap, and made dinner, although she wasn't hungry. She stared at her phone lying on the table in front of her. Nothing from him. Was he okay? Maybe he was just sick... No, no, no. He would have called, right?

She picked up the cellphone and scrolled through her contacts to his number. Her thumb lingered over the green telephone icon. Oh, how she wanted to just press it and have not a worry in the world. Unfortunately though, anxiety pumped through her veins. Eventually, she just clicked it. The blue screen popped up, with the words "Dialing Derek Jett," at the top of the screen. She could have thrown up, she was so nervous. The phone rang, once... Twice... Three times... Four... And, connected. He didn't speak, neither did she. Just awkward silence. She heard his steady breaths, and the faint sound of a television.

"Derek...?" She said quietly. She questioned his presence. Did he answer, or did his butt...? "Please..." She whispered.

"Cal..." He breathed out. She couldn't tell if it was a sigh of relief, sadness, or just annoyance. She shook her head, and held back tears.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, her voice cracking. She hung up the phone and tossed it over to the couch. She couldn't talk to him.

Every few minutes, the phone would light up and Derek's name would be flashing on it's screen. He sent her messages, called, but she didn't answer. She didn't want him to see her this way. She sat and stared over the city, at the cars passing by on the streets below. And then she saw it. That white truck she knew better than any other. Derek's truck. The Chesapeake sticker stuck on the back window? Dead giveaway. Why was he there, though? At eleven at night? Why did he only disappear until Callie reach out to him? If he cared, wouldn't he have had his own initiative to show up? Probably. This night could either turn into something good, or tear everything apart, and Callie wasn't entirely sure she was ready to find out.