Losing Innocence

21. It's a Beefting

Maureen;

Did he stab someone? Did he get stabbed? Was he a witness or an aquaintance?

My chest is burning, its tightening. My heart will not beat right until I know my baby's fine. Arghh, this pisses me off. This, right here is what pisses me the fuck off about Omaari. I told him. Did I not bloody tell him? I told him not to go and this stupid nappy headed fool went off with his 'MANDEM' and did it anyway. Now I'm left here all a-bloody-lone, not knowing if he's okay or not!

Cammy didn't know- I didn't want to stress her with anything at the moment so I refrained from bringing Omaari up in conversation since the breakup.

She's getting better though. Definately well enough to keep asking about Omaari and our relationship like she don't know his number.. Gosh I love that girl. I know she wants to know about our relationship but she is still fragile right now. Who knows? She might have some type of mental breakdown when I tell her about our relationship. You know. She might start to miss her old one with Jeramiah.

Right about now, slamming my fist into my pillow seems the most appropriate thing to do. So here I am. Imagining its his face. Stupid bitch. He brings me so much pain and joy.. I swear I don't know what to do. Its shit coz I think I umm.. well I like him. I like him a bloody frikking lot and he's literally removing the piss from the situation and spraying it in my face! ARGHHHHHHHHH Lord.  I should be single. I swear I should be one independent bitch and let him screw himself over. I should become lesbian coz boys can control their damn testosterone in thier dicks! But no. Of course not. Maureen's too frikking kind for that.

If I should start cussing him, the world would stop to hear. This foolish immigrant of a boy. I should just holla at one witchcraft bredda to deal with him.. nah bun dat. Then they'll start asking for a Indian rat's left little toe and someone in the family mysteriously dies and I get baited out and shizz.

I buried my head in my pillow in anger and frustration. Frustration for the problems that continued reoccuring. Frustration for the fact that I got myself into this.. I officially have the flu of love. Love pandemic some call it. So annoyed with myself for allowing myself to fall this deep, because no matter how much I want to convince myself, I am falling. Fast. It's dizzying.

I heard knock at the door and my heart began marching louder, harder, faster, stronger.

Jeramiah;

"So. why did you even go Naija? Stuntin man like that"

"Thats one long arse story I never got round to" Devontae sensed the low tone that suddenly mirrored my mood as I spoke of the unfortunate events that met me in Nigeria. My Hackney-born ways wouldn't allow me to cry as I explained my reasons for going. The reason hadn't reached its extreme measure, and I was madly thankful for that. But at a time like this, mum taught me that prayer is the key.

"Yo that's deep bro" Dev sympathised. I could only hope he'd never have to understand.

As we conmtinued talking about the Nothings that had fallen into our lives while we were out of contact, my phone beeped to notify me of an incoming text message.

Devontae passed me my white and green (just a coincidence) Blackberry.

"Its 'Rissie" he said casually. Until he remembered. " Oi Oi, it's 'Rissie" he repeated, this time not failing to nudge me with a fat grin on his face.

"Shat it" I imitated his pub-accent and read the text.

"What does it say then?"

You're coming my house on saturday. Coz I want you to.