Mute

20. A disappointment

Justin's POV:

The sunlight beamed in my eyes, I found myself on the ground with several of beer bottles and shot glasses surrounded me. I forced myself to get up. My head hurted so bad. I felt like complete shit. My whole body was sore also. Last night was a blur. All I remember is throwing the biggest party of my life and getting unbelievably drunk. That was it, I cant remember the rest.

I sighed when I observed the mess in front of me. The whole mansion was trashed. Confetti, balloons, bottles of alcohol all scattered on the floor. There was even a fat guy with his shirt off passed out on the coach. I would hate to be the person to come back to this.

I couldn't find my car keys anywhere, also my wallet was gone. Great this morning is off to a good start. I can't believe I was robbed. I should've known better to trust those people from last night. I knew they would take something before they left.

I left the mansion and started walking my way home. I could already hear my mother's screaming all the way from here. I promised her I would return before midnight last night. She's definitely going to kill me when I get home. She's probably going to give me a long rant and lecture about responsibility and making the right choices. She must be worried sick about me. My mom tends to get overdramatic when I don't come home for a really long time. She always believes there's someone out there ready to snatch me up.

"Mom I'm home" I called out as I entered the house. I was startled when I saw my mom standing there waiting for me in the living room in her white robe holding a coffee mug. She looked pissed. Okay Justin start thinking of lies to tell.

"12 hours, you were gone for 12 hours Justin" she said lowly. And the yelling begins in 3...2...1...

"I'm aware of that Mom" okay maybe that wasn't the smartest way to respond to that.

"Where in the hell were you? You got me scared Jesus Christ!" she yelled. "I thought something happened to you"

"I'm fine Mom" I rolled my eyes. She's being ridiculous and overdramatic as usual. She's acting like I'm still a little kid.

"You said you would come back before midnight" she set her coffee mug down and crossed her arms.

"Well I lost track of time okay? Can you please not start with this my head really hurts I need to rest"

"What could you have been possibly doing for you to lose track of time"

Having the time of my life. Living, having fun, experiencing things I always wanted to in life. Being free for once. Something she never allowed me to do before.

"I was over at Iris house, we were studying all night" I lied.

"Is that so?" She squinted at me, I tried to keep a straight face so I don't seem too suspicious. "That's funny because I called Iris mom last night to see if you were there but she told me you didn't arrive to her house" Fuck. She's catching up to my lies.

"Did I say Iris house? Silly me, I meant we were studying at my other friend's house" I nervously chuckled. There was only one thing I really sucked at, lying. I couldn't lie to save my life, it's like everytime I attempt to lie, my words get too choked up and I just blurt out the truth after.

"You know what's also funny? Iris' mom also said Iris arrived home at 10 pm last night why didn't you do the same?" Her eyes stared right into my soul making me feel more guilty.

"Fine! I was at a party!" I admitted. "Me and Iris wasn't studying last night we were at a party together"

Her mouth nearly dropped to the ground, "you were at a party on a school night?!" In my mothers eyes going anywhere on a school night was a crime.

"Yes mom that's what a regular teenager would do"

"Oh my god I bet you were drinking" she came closer to me and took a long sniff. Her eyes widened as the smell of alcohol from my mouth hit her nose. "Justin Drew Bieber I swear to god--" she didn't finish her sentence she just closed her eyes and balled her hands into a fist.

"I knew there was something up with you, these past few days you've been acting strange I don't know who's encouraging you to act like this but you need to stop"

"Nobody is encouraging me to do anything! I chose to do this, I want to do this!" my loud yelling echoed the house. That was the first time I've ever yelled at my mom like that. By the expression on her face I can tell she's surprised, I'm more surprised than she is.

"Don't raise you voice at me!"

"Well stop yelling maybe I wouldn't have to raise my damn voice" I spat. My head was killing me and I had no type of school, her yelling isn't making this situation any better.

"Where is this all coming from? You never talked to me like this" a look of disappointment overcame her face.

"I need to rest"

"You wouldn't act like this if your father was here" I heard her mumble. That one nerve I was hoping she'll never trigger finally went off. How could she say that? Does she not realize what he's done to us. Does she not remember the cruel past we had to face? He's the whole fucking reason why this family fell apart.

"Thank god he's not! you should be happy that he isn't here! especially what he did to you and what he did to--" I couldn't finish off my sentence, the emotions inside me were making me too choked up. I hated thinking about my dad, I hated even hearing his name, I hated his whole existence. I wish she never brought him up.

"Justin what is up with you, why are you acting like this?"

"Because I don't want to be who I am mom, all my life I've been an outcast who sits alone all the time and has no friends and I'm just tired of it" I said.

"So you rather act like someone you're not?"

"Yes if it means finally being accepted by people, you don't understand what it's like out there for me" I never told my mom anything about school or my personal life simply because we barely even talked to each other.

"Every single day there's either people calling me names or pushing me around, or thinking I'm a weirdo, I can't even stand close to a person without them giving me a dirty look that's how much I'm isolated from everyone"

"Sweetie it's a cold world people are just nasty like that, you don't have to change yourself to please other people though"

"I'm not pleasing other people I'm pleasing myself, this change is the best thing that ever happened to me, if you don't like it then get used to it" those were the final words I said to her before I stormed to my room. Out of all everyone, I expected my mom to be the most supportive about this. She's the one who always used to lecture me to try new things, go out of my limits and make new friends. Now she's going against my new image and identity. I just don't understand the way she thinks sometimes. She's never satisfied with anything I do. In fact I don't even remember the last time she actually said the words 'I'm proud of you Son.' Maybe I'm just a big disappointment to her...

~*~

HEY GUYS IM STILL ALIVE
Okay this chapter was kinda emotional or whatever, i promise it'll get more exciting!

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