Daughter of Mirkwood [Lord of the Rings | Haldir]

Chapter 5

Encounters and Departures

That Arwen's admission had nearly devastated Aeslin was obvious. For nearly a week, she rarely spoke, and even then she spoke sparingly. She was always deep in thought, wandering here and there, distant and aloof. Eventually though, she began to revive, but there was now a stronger set to her jaw and a reserve in her step that had Elrond worried. He feared she would do something reckless. So it was that on one late evening, while he sat up in his study, watching Aeslin overlooking the Valley from the terrace adjacent to his, he began penning a missive to Thranduil.

Aeslin, meanwhile, was fighting a battle of her own. She desperately wanted to talk to her brother and to understand what was going on. She still couldn't quite believe that she could possibly be in Rivendell for a reason other than to study the healing arts. But if she was—Aeslin refused to think like that, and yet, as she tried not to, the subject kept worming its way into her thoughts. That the things Elrond was teaching her now were more advanced than anything an average healer might know was obvious. She had wondered on that for several years now. The fact that he was allowing her to treat patients without supervision had struck that thought home the first time it had happened nearly a decade ago. In addition, the breadth of his lessons were now starting to broaden even further to encompass histories, some of the sciences and even poetry and song. Half the time it was now Erestor, instead of Elrond, who guided her studies.

The more she thought about it, the clearer her situation seemed to become, and the possibility of going to Lothlorien was even more tempting than it had before. On several occasions she found herself on the verge of accepting Arwen's offer, only to rein herself in. No matter the temptation to disregard her purpose in Rivendell, she was not prepared to so blithely abandon her studies. Until Master Elrond told her there was nothing more he could teach her, she would remain.

***

First years, and then months began to count down until Arwen's departure, and still, Aeslin could not reconcile her thoughts. She continued with whatever studies Elrond placed before her and acted cordially enough around others, but everyone around her noticed her change of spirit, especially her adoptive siblings. Elrohir tried to get her to open up with his usual teasing and jests, but she would only politely smile or feign a laugh. Arwen tried to get her to open up about the rift growing between them and the issues with her position, but she was usually met with silence on these occasions. Song was one of the few things that garnered a true response from her, and a peace would appear to come over her when she lost herself in a book of poetry.

But it was Elladan who finally found the means to bring her out of the gloom that had settled inside her. One gray afternoon, after finding Aeslin holed up near the gardens, he all but dragged her to the Practice Field, an area she had rarely visited. She put up some resistance, though Elladan was convinced her heart wasn't in it.

Early on, the brothers had taken her here for a separate part of her lessons in order to discern her skills for handling a sword and defending herself and expanding upon what she had learned in Mirkwood. That had lasted for some time, but eventually the frequency of those lessons dwindled and ended. She hadn't really visited the field since. Elladan stood her at one end and placed a bow in her hand and a quiver of arrows at her side; one thing he hadn't done during the course of her lessons. Holding her surprised gaze for a moment with a stern expression of his own, he then turned and picked up a bow of his own. As he suspected, like most wood-elves, Aeslin was talented with a bow and was already well trained, so the reintroduction of one into her hands had the effect of waking her from a deep sleep.

It was evening before they returned to the Main House, but she was pleasantly weary after the rounds with the bow Elladan had given her. That night she slept deeply and without the weight of her internal struggles bearing down on her.