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Depression | phan [completed]

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Dan Howell is depressed. Phil Lester is not. Dan Howell doesn't want anyone to know. Phil Lester just wants to help. Dan Howell thinks he's alone. Phil Lester wants to be there. Dan Howell pretends he's okay. Phil Lester knows he isn't. ///// *tr...

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Thirty One

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by literallyxphanxtrash

by literallyxphanxtrash

d a n

I hate myself.

I can hear my mother crying. I know it's my fault. That is why I hate myself.

My mom took me to a doctor's office. He talked to me. He asked me questions. He asked me how I felt. He asked about my friends and my family. He asked about my social life. He asked about my grades. He asked about my sleeping and eating schedule. I lied; I improved the truth. Then he asked if I had ever had any alcohol. He asked about drugs. I said that I hadn't done anything like that. He asked to take a test-something about my bloodstream. It scared me. I knew it would come back positive. He would tell my parents. They would cry more. Because of me.

I can hear my mother crying. I know it's my fault. That is why I hate myself.

I hate myself.