confused: a rory and jess fanfic

Broken Pieces

I am halfway through the book, and it is just beginning to get interesting.

I have been sitting here on the couch all day reading, because I have nothing better to do.

New York is a big city, and there are plenty of places I could go, plenty of people I could make friends with, but I'd rather be here.

I'm reading from the light of the vintage lamp I brought to the apartment, it has the perfect lighting if I find the right position.

My eyes continue to flit over the black ink, and I have successfully blocked out all other noises of traffic, until I hear a slam.

I hope it is not what I think it is, because it sounds like the arrival of Jess, I try to ignore it but I can't.

I look up, Jess is standing in the doorway, and he's holding his jacket, his brown eyes lock with mine.

I awkwardly tuck my hair behind my ears, and force my eyes to look back at my book.

I hear another slam, and when I look up again, Jess is gone.

These are the kind of awkward exchanges we've been having lately.

I try to get back into my book, but I can't, because all of the words I want to say to him keep repeating themselves in my mind.

I can't stop thinking about him, because of all the anger I've kept to myself.

All the memories of us in Stars Hollow, it drives me crazy.

I close my book, sliding the bookmark between the pages, and then getting up.

I walk into the kitchen and glance out the window.

The dark night sky and the stars are enough to trigger my exhaustion, I go back into the living room to grab my book.

As I'm walking back towards my bedroom, Jess opens his door and steps out, waking in the opposite direction of me.

His shoulder hits mine, throwing me off balance.

"Hey! Watch it!" I say.

"Sorry." He replies, very insincerely, hands in the air, he begins to back away.

I scoff, and walk swiftly into my bedroom.

****

When I wake up the next morning, the sun streams through my window, and I almost forget where I am, considering how used to stars hollow I am.

Then I remember Jess, and how awkward everything is with him, and how I can barely walk by him without him seeming mad.

Like he's the one who should be mad.

When I open my door, I see the front door slam.

Jess is obviously going somewhere, he's always going somewhere.

I've been at home reading most days, sometimes I'm out at job interviews, but mostly I've been alone at home.

I decide that if Jess can go out all the time, so can I.

I eat breakfast, shower, and get changed.

Then I go out, walking down the main streets.

There are so many people crowding the sidewalks, it's slightly overwhelming.