Back Then (An LGBT Story)

10. Seth's shell

Taylor arrived back in his building later than he had expected. After a long day of lectures, he'd been told that he would have to help two of his psychology classmates in catching up. He had tried to object, however understood why he was being asked.

With a sigh, Taylor reached out to grab the door handle, pushing it down, he opened the door to see Seth, sitting on his bed in silence.

"Hey Seth," Taylor said with a kind smile, as he closed the door behind him, "how was your day?"

Seth didn't respond, he just continued to stare onwards at nothing.

"Seth?" Taylor said a little louder, dropping his bag and rushing over. Heart pounding, Taylor began to shake Seth gently. "Can you hear me? Are you in shock again?"
Tears welled up in Taylor's eyes as he realised that Seth must've had another panic attack, resulting in him going into shock again. He blamed himself for not being there when Seth had gotten home. Raising his strong arms to Seth's shoulders, Taylor held his boyfriend tightly, preying that he would snap back into reality soon.

Almost ten minutes later, Taylor began to realise that something was horribly wrong. Seth still hadn't returned to his normal self. He made Seth look at him, seeing his eyes displaying just how distant his mind was, and he gently pushed him to the side. Seth, now lying down in bed, still didn't say anything. As Taylor's worry turned to anguish, he found himself staring at Seth, praying that he would come back soon.

***

Hours passed and Taylor was now sat at his desk, trying to work, however not getting very far due to the fact that Seth still hadn't returned to his normal self. He felt more tears welling up in his eyes as he saw the rays of moonlight shining across Seth's expressionless face, casting a shadow below his cheekbones, causing his eyes to reflect the pale blue light, on top of their normal purple. He grew even more depressed as he glanced back to his desk to see the work that he hadn't done.
Eventually, Taylor gave in, walking over to Seth's bed and lying down beside him. His hand found its way to Seth's pale cheek as he stared him in the eyes, seeing how distant Seth still remained.

"I'm so sorry," Taylor whispered, a single tear rolling down his cheek, "I promised that I'd be here." Taylor shifted his body closer to Seth's, taking him in his arms and holding his close, allowing small tears to make their way down his cheeks into Seth's jet black hair.
It wasn't long before Taylor felt himself drifting off, Seth still in his arms. His body temperature was extremely high and he found his breaths growing less shaky as his tears stopped completely.
As this happened, Taylor felt movement and slight pressure on his chest. His strong arms were pulled back away from Seth. Taylor caught a glimpse of Seth's expression and he saw that he'd returned to normal.

"Seth!" He yelled, smiling.

Seth smiled back, weakly as he pushed himself up into a sitting position.

"How long have you been back?" He asked.

"Hours," Taylor sat up and raised his hand to Seth's face once more, his olive skin appearing shades darker against Seth's snow white complexion, "please, tell me why you had another panic attack."

Seth looked down at his feet, not wanting to worry or make Taylor angry.

"Please, Seth..." Taylor sounded desperate.

Seth knew how much his boyfriend had always wanted to reach out to him. He knew how much pain he went through, having to face and deal with his panic attacks alone, putting into perspective just how much he must want to help.
It made Seth feel almost guilty.

"I thought I was having a good day, but it turns out that wasn't the case."

"Why, what happened?"

"My English Lit. teacher pulled me aside after class and lectured me about 'controlling my behaviour'."

"I'm guessing this is about your panic attack?"

"Uh-huh."

"That bastard!"

Please don't get mad Taylor..."

"I have the right to be mad! He's fucking around, telling you to 'control yourself' when he has no idea what's going through your head. What does he expect you to d-..."
Taylor was cut off by Seth pressing a finger on his lips.

"Don't yell Taylor," he almost whispered, "it's late and I hate it when you yell."

"I'm sorry baby," Taylor coiled his arms around Seth's shoulders, "I'll calm down."

"Thanks."

They both remained in one another's embrace for a few minutes before they let go, lay down beside one another and just stared at the ceiling, hand in hand.

It wasn't long before they had both fallen asleep, the dim rays of moonlight slowly creeping in through the small gap in the curtains, falling at the perfect angle to illuminate the boys' hands. Their fingers intertwined, they fell asleep happy.