Definitely Not Interested

Chapter 10

I turned the corner and there she was sitting down with some popular know it all kids. I decided to walk up to her and ask how she was doing but she didn't even bother replying back.

She actually stood up and looked me up and down in a nasty manner. "Who the hell let you out of the zoo?"

My eyes widened and something burned inside of me. "Sarah what do you mean?"

"Ew don't speak my name." She raised a hand up. She then leaned in and whispered. "Leave me the hell alone you man stealer."

I thew my hands in the air. "What the hell are you talking about?!" My feelings crashed and it stung. It really did even though I knew she wasn't a real friend, I liked her company. I thought she was actually nice. The taste of betrayal was bitter as hell.

I know I'm a strong girl but when surprises like these spring up on me, I can't keep up.

"Okay nevermind." I whisper because my throat closed up on me. Everyone was staring at me laughing and smirking and I didn't know what to do but start walking the other way.

I swear it hurt and I didn't know why. I mean Sarah wasn't the best friend.

But she was company. I was now school loner again.

***

On the way home, I left early because I couldn't handle it anymore. All the jokes behind my back, Sarah giving me dirty looks, and people randomly throwing objects at me.

Tears slowly made their way down my cheeks and I became even more disappointed in myself.

Why didn't you stick up for yourself?

I wanted to say something but my voice betrayed me and I couldn't. Since I couldn't go home like this, I decided to head to the cemetery.

I suddenly missed my dad so much that I began to cry harder. People started to look at me weird and that's when I bolted. I couldn't really see where I was going but whatever.

***

I collapsed near my dads grave and cried even more. My chest heaved up and down so much that I felt I couldn't breath.

"Dad I can't live without you." I cried between the sobs. I couldn't handle anything without my dad. I can't handle all the pressure. He was my rock and now I felt lost after he passed away.

I kept crying till I couldn't cry anymore. I felt hurt, lost, and annoyed. I'm like that. I'll be bottled up  and then when the time comes I'll explode like this.

I just kept lying down until I regained my confidence and collected myself. Allah knows best. In shaa Allah it all works out because right now I don't know how to comprehend anything.

****

After a while I got up and dusted myself off. I said my goodbyes to my dad and headed out. I now needed to sit and be calm. It's over, that's it.

I began walking home but I figure caught my eye.

In his leather jacket and ripped jeans, he sat slumped over looking out at nowhere. In his hand there was  a bouquet of bright daisies that he sat down next to the grave he was sitting close too.

"Amir?" I interrupted the dark silence between us.

Amir looked up, his eyes were puffy and his face was dark. "What?" He bit out.

I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to poke at his feelings or make him tell me something he doesn't want me too so I didn't ask.

There was a heavy awkward silence between us until he then spoke up. "What are you doing here?"

"I-I came to see my dad." I managed to say without croaking.

The harsh features on his face softened and he looked away.

"What about you?" I whispered.

"I came to visit my mom." He swallowed and I was utterly shocked. I had no idea he didn't have a mother anymore. It hit me hard because I can see that it's very difficult.

"I'm sorry to here that." I managed to say through the lump in my throat.

He put the flowers down on the grave. "She loved daisies." I saw his eyes filling up with water.

I turned away because I couldn't handle it. I hated seeing sad people. It truly bothered me and made me feel horrible.

"I didn't really know her so it makes it easier. She died when I was young. All I have is a fugue memory ." He added. "I'm sorry to hear about your father as well."

I wiped my tears and nodded. I began to walk away and noticed he's following me.

I turned around. "What are you doing?"

He cocked his head slightly. "I'm walking."

"I know but-"

He sighed and came closer. He threw me a small tissue packet. "I'm going to go. Let's not let word get around." He then kept walking and turned to the next street. He disappeared and I was left there standing, clutching the tissues he gave me.

He was really weird sometimes. He always kept things bottled up and it annoyed me.

****

I know! This chapter was a little sad and I'm sorry! But please tell me what you think!