Gatecrashing Gatecrasher

• b e s t f r i e n d •

"Fullfilled," I replied.

I haven't noticed my smile turning into a frown. Noticing my face, she held my hand and place her palm on top of it. She smiled to me ruefully. I started clearing my throat and kept my cool as if nothing's bothering me.

"And what about you? Any specifics going on right now, Lauren?" She leaned closer and I could see her interest in knowing about me.

"Uh, yeah. I work in Kaffe 1668, it's a beanery. Refreshing, tiring, and you know, realizations coming at the end of my shifts. I enrolled two days ago at an adult high school, too. High school and etcetera."

"Wow, really? How was the application?" I could see the brightness in her eyes as it smiled.

"Got the e-mail last night. I'm starting tomorrow. I'll only have five hours though, so, I think I could still work night shifts at the beanery," I proudly tell her.

"That's incredible, lassie! I believe in you. You'll always have a way to figure things out, right? And don't forget we're two inches away; ask help anytime."

"Aw, thank you so much, Phoebe!"

"Hey, you know what, I'm planning on throwing a party."

She began changing the topic so as to lighten the heavy atmosphere between us.

"Really?"

She rolled her eyes and began removing the hairs that is being glued on her face. She tucked it behind her ears and took another sip of the lemonade.

"Lauren Grace, have you no idea? I'm throwing a party at my house on the twentieth."

My lips formed an o. I nod my head and smiled.

"Yes. Of course, it's your birthday. How should I even forget?" I laughed.

"Wanna come?"

"There's beer, right?"

She scoffed when I asked her.

"There's many," she smiled wickedly.

We talk a lot since we've been separated for about one year. She became an author of her own life. With a huge smile plastered on her face, she volunteered telling me she had a wonderful lovestory. A fellow pre-vet intern who happens to love taking care of animals too captured her almost sleeping heart. She's happy and keeps telling me she can't wait for their happy ever after. As cliché as it sounds, every girl needs a happy ever after. She met her man while I start getting over with my previous man.

I kind of feel jealous, hideous! The idea of being jealous with my bestfriend's fairytale is the most hideous thing.

"It's on Saturday. Wanna raid my closet again?" I teased.

She rolled her eyes and snorted. Might as well remember how she trespassed my closet before just to look for a blue cocktail dress for JS Prom. She ended up getting drunk I even have to let Guile carried her on his back on our way home.

Guile, I shivered at the thought of his name. Why was he even entering my brain in no time?

"I won't bother you again, Lauren. I'll let you go with your own. You should look exactly like me. You have to be a princess on Sat. It's a must for you to be a princess."

Why on earth would she call it a must? She needs to be prettier than me because it is going to be her night. I've accepted the fact that everyone's satisfied we are like twins. But not twins on her birthday. She should be just her, no duplicate. I would not want to be a carbon copy of her image.

"By the way, you told me you work at Kaffe 1668. No love affair with a regular customer?"

I rolled my eyes. I don't know if it's purely part of our conversation or intriguing. We haven't talked for a year then suddenly, she'd interview me with this issue.

"I've given up on it for a long time ago. I think you have full knowledge on it, Phoebe."

My heart writhed in pain when I let those words slip out of my mouth. Really.

My heart's kind of devastated and weak. I tried avoiding any guy I bump into no matter how great he is. Some would hardly even believe I survived looking at my inbox empty. The memories Guile and I had which are all lies and false dreams we're buried at my deepest core which I doubt are hard to forget. Or maybe those memories would kill me; I might not really forget them until I die.

How should I even forget him? I am stupid and I know that. I thought leaving that school would vanish his existence. But still, I get a 'not yet'. I'm trying to be patient because they say moving on is a process. But how long should I wait? I kept lingering and hoping that he would soon realize he made a huge mistake of leaving me.

"One day, let's go to a friend's house and I'll reserve a cute guy for you, Lauren. You should stop lingering on your past or else you'll get killed by my sermons, okay?"

She shook my shoulders which made me say yes. I know she's right and I'll trust her for this. But thanks for her offer, I might stay still for now. I'll just help my family to be happy instead of looking at my own advantage.