We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl (MIW one-shots)

Keep On Pretending (Ricky)

I slipped out the back door hoping to escape the loud party that was going on inside. My stomach was in knots as I leaned against the garden rail that separated the yard from the porch.

My twenty-third birthday was a few nights ago, and it was everything I could ever dream of up until I went home. I took a deep breath as I tried not to think about that night, the look in his blue eyes, the way his skin felt against mine. I shuddered as I heard the door close behind me.

"What is wrong with you?" His voice was always so soft like a small breeze.

"What do you mean?" I turned to look up at him as he lit a cigarette and held it between his lips.

"You haven't been you since we...."

"Oh..."

"Yeah, so what's up?"

"I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because you will be upset with me."

"Laila." I could hear the annoyance start to creep into his voice.

"I don't want to ruin our friendship."

"You will ruin it if you don't tell me."

"Fine." I couldn't help but pout for a small moment I didn't want to tell him the truth.

"Well?"

"I uh,"

"Come on spit it out!"

"I lost my virginity to a man I've spent he past six years in love with only to be told the next morning that he wanted to pretend that it didn't happen." I couldn't look him in the eye. I kept my blue eyes on the ground as I heard him sigh.

"You mean?"

"Yeah," I whispered as I glanced up at him to see the frown and regret on his face.

"Fuck, Laila I uh,"

"I know it's okay." I tried so hard to play it off.

"No, it's not. I was so rough with you if I would have known I would of, I would have been gentle and...fuck...I didn't know."

"Of course, you didn't." Sure being taken in a drunken fling wasn't how I wanted my first time to be, yes it hurt horribly, but I loved him with every beat of my heart.

".....Val and I are dating."

I blinked back the tears as I felt my heart crack and break into tiny pieces. "What? Oh.. You worked out your differences then?"

"Yeah, she asked if I ever slept with any of the girls we hang around. I said no; cause pretending."

"Oh. Right." Val was beautiful, of course, he wouldn't want to lose her.

"So we have to keep pretending. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it, listen I'm going to go; I'm not feeling great."

"Laila. Please..."

"Don't worry Ricky it never happened."