chapter one "zero sum game"

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Don't die.

Not here. Not like this.

Where I can't bring you back.

The sun is falling. Wind pushes smoke through twilight, beautiful dark shapes form and dance and vanish. The crackle of fire. Broken trees and bodies of Fallen, the terrible scar in the ground where the ketch had come down burning and ploughed through us.

And you.

Silent and still below me.

This frozen scene, a single frame.

The art of war.

I see it all, process the data. That's all it really is, without a life to feel. Information. The ceaseless torrent of input, sparkling for those who can read it.

...signaldistressred.signalfail.gstatdec.resurrectionunavailable.cloakdisabled.signaldistressred.signalfail...

I wonder if your eyes are still open. Can't tell through the helmet. Doesn't matter of course. Their reinforcements are closing in, approaching the tree line to the north. Cautious now. They hadn't expected such a fierce counterattack, not from a lone guardian. They won't be caught out again.

You need to get up.

...trackingtargets.combatopscomprimised.functionality19%.runningdiagnostics.hullbreachdetected.criticalsystemfailures.autorepairinitiated.autorepairfail.signaldistressred...

I remember.

I remember when I first found you. The ice morning sky, wind, movement of the grass were like the start of a song, something I had never felt before. That moment. The edge of something. An unbalanced equation, output greater than input. This was living, to see your eyes open and know I had brought you back.

In time you repaid the favour, gave me a life I never thought possible. It sounds stupid I know, I would have disdained the use of such a nonsensical phrase beforehand but not now. Through every battle, every mission, alone together we ran that line between life and death. The perfect balancing act, warrior angels perched on gravestones. You gave me an understanding of why I was here. My tenuous link to this world became iron, no longer a little light but a ghost with a guardian.

I realised humanity was meant to go to the stars. And you were so close. You can do it again, we can do it together.  More than just survival.

Those stars, calling out to us with their light through the night sky. We saw them as we took refugees to the city. We saw them as we fled the Hellmouth. I can see them now. They gave us hope. Belief in a future.

Our destiny.

Why am I thinking of these things now? No time for this. I've been damaged, I think. Yes. That last barrage of fire. I can't focus. Process. I can't.

Don't leave me alone again.

...diagnosticpatterna1a3a.specify.specify.ltmemcorruption.ltmem4729384569>956988569(876597).packetbleed42355234-32412345-244321.activeprocessingcorruption. autorepairinitiated.autorepairfail. signaldistressred.signalfail.gstatdec.resurrectionunavailable.cloakdisabled.signaldistressred.signalfail...

Another memory.

Many years, now. Long ago, even for us.

Ghosts don't sleep, of course. Or I would have dreamt about it, I think. Had nightmares about it.

The desert plain, past the shade of those cliffs, the boiling heat and dust that clung to us both. You had fought off dozens already. The sun beating down, a relentless fire in the sky. Your rifle was broken in half, smashed to pieces across the back of the last vandals neck. I saw you slide down to your knees in the sand, gasping for breath, the bloodied stump of your left arm hanging by your side. When you had picked up what was left of the limb and caved in that captains skull with it even the Fallen looked surprised. I had never seen anything like it. You were wild, fearless. Crazed.

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