How It's Going To Be [h.s.]

Chapter 83

"Harry."

"Oh. No, I've not spoken to him."

"Are you avoiding him?"

"It's complicated and you know that," I sighed.

"I think it's complicated, but it doesn't have to be."

"What do you mean?"

"I think the two of you are making things harder than they have to be. If one of you would just reach out to the other..."

"What?" I snapped. "If one of us reached out, then what?"

My father began descending the stairs into the living room. I made a quick glance around the floor to be sure none of his unwrapped gifts were out in the open where he would see them. His brow was furrowed as he looked at me. I could see the displeased look I had become familiar with as a young girl.

"What is all the shouting about?"

"No one was shouting," my mother said gently. "We're just talking."

"What about?" my dad asked with interest.

I rolled my eyes. "She thinks she knows everything about my life and is offering unsolicited advice," I whined.

"Your mother makes good points," my dad nodded. "You should listen to her."

"This is not why I came home!" I threw my hands in the air. "I didn't come home to be lectured. I'm an adult. I was in a relationship. I'm sorting my life out now that I am no longer in the relationship. I don't need help."

"We are just trying to make sure you have an open mind," my mother replied as she tied a ribbon around another gift. "I would hate to see you rush out of something because you're afraid."

"I'm not afraid," I said defiantly.

"Yes you are." For the first time since we started talking, my mother put down the scissors and pushed the gift boxes away. She crossed her legs and looked at me with pleading, wise eyes. I could feel my dad behind me waiting to hear whatever my mother was going to say.

"I'm not," I mumbled.

"Sometimes it can be difficult to admit what we're really feeling. I can only imagine how confused and angry you were after Harry broke things off. I'm sure it was hurtful to have someone you trust dismantle everything you have worked for. But I bet you still have feelings for Harry. I know how in love you were with him. I could see it on your face, hear it in your voice, and feel it when I was around you. And I would even go so far as to say I can still see, hear, and feel that love."

"She's right," my father added.

"You see, love is terrifying. It makes you break down personal barriers and reach out to someone else. Love forces trust and vulnerability that we never knew we were capable of before. Love is hardship and suffering, but it also empowerment and strength. That is why it is so scary. Love is as much a negative as it is a positive. You are young and are just learning of love. It struck you hard and it was strong. Love unearthed you and polished you into the person you are right now," she continued. "And to have all of that taken away by the person you are in love with is shattering."

"Yes," I whispered.

"He hurt you," my father said plainly. "Harry hurt you and broke the bond you shared. And I can only imagine the regret he feels every day because of that."

I thought about the times Harry asked to get back together. All of the times he had put himself out there and I had rejected him. It wasn't Harry who felt regret, it was me.