Infinite ✓

[16] - I Hate This Part

“That’s not what I’m saying, Rory.”

“I’m so mad at you! I could…I could just – UGH!”

Jeremy’s jaw clenched and then he turned to glare at Rory, “fine, since you want to know so badly. I didn’t bring you along because…well,” he suddenly felt nervous and unsure and his hand flittered over the bulge in his pocket again, his heartbeat soaring. He knew that the only way to calm Rory down was to tell him the truth.

He hadn’t expected Rory to react this way when he found out and he really wasn’t prepared for this. He wanted to laugh bitterly at that; this really wasn’t in the list of his ‘how to propose’ guide but it’s not like he had a fucking say in it, now did he?

Jeremy’s breath caught when he saw Rory staring at the bulge in his pocket like it was Satan himself. His eyes grew wide when Rory suddenly turned pale and tilted where he stood.

“Rory!” he cried in a panic, rushing forward and catching him before he fell, “Oh God, did you take your meds today?”

Rory blinked up at him but his dark eyes weren’t seeing and Jeremy could feel the panic swamping up his entire being. He fumbled for his phone, his hands shaking while he held Rory tightly to his chest.

“Hold on, I’m calling an ambulance. Just hold on for me baby, okay?”

“Jer…” Rory tried to whisper, his voice coming out croaky.

“No baby, don’t speak, okay?” but Rory was already out cold and Jeremy could feel the cold hands of panic growing and welling within him. He really couldn’t help the tears that spilled down his cheeks as he heard the sound of sirens and then he was rushing outside and into the ambulance, refusing to leave Rory’s side to the annoyance but understanding of the nurse.

Jeremy felt like crying as he stared at Rory, looking so fragile underneath the breathing mask. He held on tightly to Rory’s hand like a lifeline, hoping that the touch would keep Rory with him and kept silently praying that this was a mini-attack and Rory would be fine. At that moment, Rory’s eyelids fluttered, disoriented as he took in his surroundings before his gaze landed on Jeremy.

“Jer…I’m sorry…” he tried to whisper but Jeremy was shaking his head and squeezing his hand harder.

“It’s my fault. I should have brought you along,” Jeremy whispered, his chest aching. How could he not have seen how stressful this must have been for Rory? How could he not have thought about this? It would have been so much easier if he’d just brought Rory along, screw surprises and being romantic. He bit his lip against the threatening rise of tears, “Just hold on for me, okay? Breathe and hold on, you’ll be fine. I love you baby, I’m here for you.”

The sight of the tears running down the sides of Rory’s temples made Jeremy’s heart clench painfully and his own tears flow even harder.

After that, everything was a blur. Lights were flashing over Rory’s head as he was raced on a stretcher towards the emergency room and doctors and nurses were yelling and Jeremy was screaming but he didn’t even know what he was yelling. He just knew that he wanted Rory to be safe. He wanted Rory alive.

 His eyes were watery as he gazed at the man he’d grown to love. The nurses held him back as Rory was rushed through the emergency double doors and he felt a helpless sense of doom as they closed in front of his face, hiding him away from view.

 

*

 

Jeremy paced in the waiting room, unable to sit still or relax. He just wanted to doctor to come out and tell him that Rory was okay so that they could go home. He wasn’t aware how much time had passed; he just knew that it felt like he’d been waiting in the hospital for years. He kept twisting and turning his phone in his hands, wondering if he should call Rory’s parents; no doubt they would want to know if he’d had an attack. But what if it was a false alarm?