Before Killing Was Cool ➊ FRERARD

18: Through Sickness, Health And Adulthood

His parents await him at his childhood home, but it doesn't feel any more welcoming than it ever did before.

"We have a no pets rule," his father says disapprovingly.

"I do a good job at taking care of him," begs Mikey, "he's low maintenance. I'll keep him in my room; you won't even notice he's there." He needs this goddamn fish to carry on and he's not even sure why. Patrick insisted Joe was only a way of explaining his bond with Pete but he was wrong - it's a vivid reminder of what he's been through and how strong he's becoming. He hopes.

His mom lets him keep Joe in return for one thing:

"You're going to tell me why I got a call from the school today."

This conversation was fated to come up eventually but mentally he isn't prepared for how to answer and the violent reaction it will likely evoke. So he lies.

"I've been sick." He shrugs, aiming for nonchalance but falling short of the mark. Nobody calls it out. "I'll go back after the weekend, I promise." And he leaves it at that.

They don't care enough to press the matter, to ask for his symptoms or why he's been absent from his studies for such an extended period of time. They don't pry into his stay with his 'friend' nor even ask for Pete's name. They secretly can't wait to have him gone. Mikey reminds them too much of Gerard and for as much as they seemed to hate the older brother too, they sure do miss him.

They don't miss Mikey when he sneaks out a couple of days later to meet up with Patrick. Patrick heard about Pete's arrest but isn't familiar with the details yet.

"How's Joe doing?" The smiling boy starts with natural small talk.

"He's doing okay for a fish." Mikey doesn't say that he wishes he could trade places with his pet - it's kind of weird. However, it's better than wanting to die (an urge which has been steady but not so intense lately). "How's it going with the band?"

"Well, we're missing a bassist," Patrick muses but without contempt, "but that won't be for long, right?"

Of course, he has his suspicions that Mikey was involved with his best friend's detainment. Mikey approaches the topic with fragility. "I couldn't tell you."

"There's a lot of stuff I don't know, isn't there?" Patrick asks sadly. Finally he knows what it's like to be out of the loop, to sympathise with Mikey.

Mikey can't lie to him. "Yeah, there is. It'll come to light soon, I think, but maybe it's best you hear it from Pete." That could straightforwardly be a mistake. Mikey wants to share his side of the story because it'll be whole and true, and he doesn't trust what Pete will have to say - but it's better to have Patrick despise him than listen to him now. He wouldn't be able to get the right words out.

"Pete's my best friend," Patrick reminds him as they're walking down the sidewalk, kicking stones at their feet. It reminds Mikey of the time he tripped himself up, the blood filling his mouth. His tooth is still chipped.

"I know. I'm sorry," he mumbles.

"But I don't trust him," Patrick finishes much to Mikey's confusion, "because I hardly know anything about him. The seven months we've been close are nothing compared to a lifetime he hasn't shared with me. I think my opinions are about to drastically change."