Promises

Chapter 42

"That's not what I said...well, that's not what I meant," he says, holding my cheeks between the palms of his hands. "How could I not love our baby? Something we made? Another life we're bringing into the world?" I take a minute to search his eyes. I know he loves our kids with everything he has. And the fact that he can even stand up here and voice the love that he holds in his heart aloud is nothing short of remarkable. But-

"Daddy." Both Zayn and I look down and I quickly wipe the tears from my cheeks, so my baby girl doesn't see me upset. Li stands there looking up at us, but what catches me off guard is that she's holding out her pull-up for one of us to take. "No."

My eyes widen, but Zayn just snorts. "Sooo you hand me a pissy pull-up and just tell me no? What the hell does that mean?"

She's not amused though. She just continues to hold it out. And when neither one of us takes it, she drops it on the floor and walks off without a care in the world- bottom naked. Like, 'here mom and dad, take it.' Zayn and I both exchange looks. "I think that means she's ready to be potty trained."

"Well fuck, I hope so. Because if she's gonna start slinging shitty pull-ups everywhere, I don't know what I'll do," Zayn says. "I don't think I could handle that." He makes a disgusted face but I only manage to chuckle lightly since I'm still a bit upset.

I go to walk after her (because she's gotta put something on her bare bottom), when Zayn grabs my arm. "We're alright, yeah?" He asks me, grabbing on to my hips and drawing me close to his body after I turn around to face him.

I search his eyes once more. "Yeah." I don't know if I truly believe it because I know a part of him still isn't on board with this baby, but I think he- at the very least- realizes that it's out of our hands at this point.

But is it too much to ask for him to be ecstatic?

//

"Hi Charlie, this is Doctor Stevenson calling."

Oh no. I quickly focus my attention on this call, as opposed to absorbing myself in the charts in front of me like I've been for the past three hours.

... I mean, if three cups of decaffeinated tea (that doesn't do the trick at all) and two and ⅓ banana nut muffins isn't a clue to my morning, then I don't know what is.

"Hi," I squeak, an unsure edge to my tone.

"No need to be concerned. Just calling for a follow up. How are you doing?"

Oh. I turn in my rolley chair, so that it's facing out towards the room. "Good. I'm good."

"Good. And you told Zayn?" My doc has actually been super concerned for me after all that I went through with the first pregnancy, especially regarding support systems- being that I only had the two people I lived with- Danielle and Nina accompanying me to almost all of the appointments. And then the turmoil I was in with the second pregnancy? Yeah.

"I did." Though it went less than swimmingly. "He's happy." I won't tell Dr. Stevenson any differently because quite frankly, he's seen me at my worst. And I wouldn't want to know what he would say about Zayn's reaction. He'd more than likely give him an earful at the next appointment.

"Good. Well, I just wanted to go over everything and schedule you for your next appointment. So your hormonal IUD did not get expelled, so that wasn't the cause for the pregnancy. To be honest, the cause doesn't matter so much at this point in the game, but I still like to find out for my patients, so that we can see what we can do better-if anything, you know? So with you, it looks like you're just one of the one in one thousand women who get pregnant with an IUD," he explains. Gee. I'm starting to really buy into this whole Fertile Mertle thing. "And everything looks okay, as of now. I know there were some questions about where we would go after the delivery in terms of birth control for you. We took out your IUD obviously, and I think putting an IUD back in after your delivery is what would be best. It's a bit early to be discussing, yes, but I know that was one of your main concerns. So maybe what I could do, is put in the copper IUD, which is slightly more effective-not much, remember, than the hormonal IUD, but still the best form of birth control available, aside from abstinence, which...clearly you two are not practicing, not that you should have to. Anyway, the main difference with this IUD is that it's spermatotoxic. And to be quite frank, I think Zayn has super sperm, so this might be the way to go."