THE ORANGE GIRL

chapter twelve

Tuesday, 3rd November 2015

12:16AM | Clan of Clandestine, Base Four

Kiyoung. Kiyoung. Kiyoung.

The name of your baby brother avalanched your every other thought, reciprocated in the way you hummed it into the dark locks of his hair, eyes screwed tightly shut as you held him closer. The last time you saw him was long before you were sentenced to steel bars and orange jumpsuits, almost too far behind in the past to hold onto, but you always remained to have the desperation of an older sister trying to remember the details of the only family she had left.

He was so young when he was taken away. Bubbling tears and bright red cheeks, a tiny button nose pressed to a window pane as a car as black as the shadows on the street drove him further into the thick night, far from your parents and brother and you. Mother had been sobbing, father straight-faced, older brother Kyungsoo with his fingers wrapped tightly around your own smaller fist. He knew the reason why the baby of the family was being taken to a place unknown, but you had not an idea at all. It seems you were always this clueless. So when you entered the rather hollow room and happened upon the teenage boy, there was no hesitation when you flung your arms around him. You could never mistake those large almond eyes, the nose of your mother, the olive skin of your father stretched over spindly arms and legs, the lips identical to your own now turned down in a frown.

It was Kiyoung, undoubtedly him, and by the way that he broke down at the sight of you stumbling forward, the confirmation was settled.

Although smaller in height, you still managed to crowd him with your figure, limbs locked around limbs while he silently wept into your shoulder and you hushed him with everything is okay when you knew damn sure that the sickening pit in your stomach could only be dispersed by a boy of honey blonde. The way you held onto him was more selfish than affectionate, deprived of such intimacy from another being for all these years. So you let him drench the seams of your sweater with salty tears that you thought were produced from longing, missing. Though when he pulled back with eyes rimmed red and his lips twisted into a wet scowl, you realised it were greatly worse than that.

His voice sounded damp, much deeper than the last time the pair of you had met. But the tone was all too familiar, trembling and unsure and lathered in a fear so thick that the only time you could recall him being so afraid was when he ran into your bedroom at eight years of age and crieddaddy just shot a man. You barely reconciled the click of the door shutting behind you as his words drowned out all other noise.

"Why the hell are you here?"

The connotations of the question were endless, streaming through your mind until you latched onto an answer deemed reasonable. "I was released early. Junseo found me-"

"No! No, no. Shit!" Kiyoung's voice was torn, agonisingly raw. The curse slipped over your skin like water. "God, Y/N. You are so stupid, so goddamn dumb. How could you come back here?!"

He was hysterical, tearing at the strands upon his crown, richer sobs racketing from his lungs. Immediately you lurched forward, trying to calm him with your palms on his heated cheeks but it only made things worse. It was then that you suddenly noticed the blooming petals of violet and pink that shadowed his jaw, dusted near the collar of his rumpled shirt and around his wrists in fresh rings. Why the hell are you here? You wished you knew the answer.

"What happened to you, Ki?" You whispered, trying to lock onto his frantic gaze that darted around the small space of the room, glancing anywhere but your eyes. "We belong here, don't we? Our family belongs here-"

His pupils suddenly stopped their movements, pinpointing directly at you and making you shrink back. "What on earth are you saying, sister?"

"W-What?" You breathed, wide-eyed. "Kiyoung, my memories have been erased. I know nothing about anything. You are the only person I have recognised since my release."