The one

Depressed and no return

Mark's POV:

Ever since the night I found Jack lying on the concrete floor motionless I haven't been able to concentrate. I find it hard just making a coffee without having to check he is still breathing. All of this worry didn't begin there though, it began 1 year ago when I broke up with my then girlfriend. We had argued and argued all night until she got to the point where she 'couldn't handle my shit anymore!' She left angrily. She was gone for a whole two days in which I spent my time crying and wondering where it all went wrong. When she finally did re-appear it wasn't to say sorry or to try and make up, it was to break up and collect her stuff. She had, had enough of the arguing and the self harm and she kept saying she just couldn't handle it. After she left the self harm became worse and at some points drinking became involved. At first I didn't want to hurt but it was the only thing the replaced the emptiness I felt in my heart. The harming became so bad that my arms, legs and stomach were covered in scars, it never got to the point of me accidentally cutting too deep or loosing too much blood or drank too much and hurt somebody but I could never stop. It became too much to handle but it was my only release. The day before I met Jack I had managed to find space for two more scars and as I cleaned my small blade I wondered how it became so bad. It had been a year since the break up but it still tore me apart inside out and it was just too much to cope with. The day Jack appeared was like someone was telling me to get a grip and move on! It has been two weeks since then I have been clean but when I saw Jack lying unconscious I had started worrying again and cutting just became part of my life again. I wasn't proud of it but I couldn't help it. It stopped me worrying for a while until the images came flooding back and I would need to see if Jack was okay if he needed anything. Luckily I don't think he has picked up on it though which means I'm managing well at covering it up, at least I hope so...

A/N hey hey! All I wanted to say was that I'm not saying that Markimoo is a sad and depressed drunk person irl this just goes with the story and how it's going to affect his and Jack's futures. Please don't kill me for this chapter I'm so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry if I made you cry or if you hate me now but I promise that things will get better from here on out! Thank you for reading this and I will see you all in the next chapter which is going to be much happier. Xxx