Reining Her In (Student/Teacher Romance)

Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

It was a smaller lesson today. We were working on a course and the jumps took up most of the manege, so there could only be three of us. It was a difficult course, but it was nothing that I couldn't handle.

I stroked Nessie's neck as I watched a guy in my year go around the course. His horse glided over the jumps without problem. They were slightly lower than normal whilst we got the hang of the sharp twists in the routine, and then Mr. Campbell would put them up.

My classmate came to the end of his routine and Mr. Campbell nodded. "Good job," he said. "Penelope, you're up next."

I spurred Nessie into action, tightening up her reins. Only before I could dig my heels in and bring her to a canter, my heart began to race. My eyebrows knitted for a second, before my ears began to ring. My hands trembled, and I could no longer grip the reins, and they dropped against Nessie's neck.

"Penelope?" Mr. Campbell sounded far away, even though I could see he'd taken Nessie's reins into his hand to hold the horse still. "What's wrong?"

I wanted to open my mouth, but I couldn't. My heart was pounding. I'm having a heart attack, I wanted to scream at him, but the words didn't come.

My breathing was almost as quick as my heart, and I shut my eyes, willing it away. "I can't breathe," I said, my voice coming out as a broken whisper. "I think I'm having a heart attack."

"Can you get off the horse?" Mr. Campbell had dropped the reins, and come to stand beside me. His hand was gripping my thigh, and it helped. It was like an anchor.

Tears pricked in my eyes. "I don't know." What if Nessie ran off? What if I fell off and hurt something?

"Calm down." His hand tightened, and his thumb brushed back and forth against my leg. "I'm going to help you off, okay? Take your left leg out of the stirrup."

It took several quick breaths and tried to listen to him. My foot slid out of the stirrup and it felt like one of my safety nets had failed. Mr. Campbell removed the foot from the stirrup on his side, but he kept gripping my leg, and I knew he had me.

"Okay, now get your leg over and slide off. I'll make sure you don't fall."

I nodded, and tried to still my trembling hands. Mr. Campbell had the horse; he had my leg; he wasn't going to let me fall. I looked down, and met his gaze, and he gave me a reassuring smile.

It took me a good minute to force myself to do as he said. My heart was racing so fast I was scared I might pass out and every time I moved the slightest bit a wave of unbearable nausea hit me.

Eventually, though, I pushed my leg over and slid to the ground. Mr. Campbell stopped me falling over by holding my arms. Tears cascaded down my face, and he frowned. "This lesson is over," he called to the other students. "Take your horses back to the stables, and then one of you come and get Nessie. I'm going to take Penelope to the nurse."

Once we were out of the manege, the tears flowed even faster. "What's happening?" My heart was beginning to slow down, but it still thrummed at a dangerous pace.

"You're having a panic attack."

"What? I've never had anything like that before. I was only going to be doing some stupid jumps." My mental capacity was returning, and I wasn't terrified to do anything anymore. Taking deep breaths was easier. My hands still shook by my side.

"I looked into it, apparently this can be a side-effect of ecstasy use."

I wanted to scream. I was such an idiot. "Oh."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. You're not the idiot here."

My Campbell frowned, but didn't correct me. He knew I was right.

"Do I really have to go to the nurse? I feel pretty fine now."

"I'd rather you did, just to make sure you really didn't have a heart attack."

I chuckled, despite myself, and swallowed down the last bit of nausea. It had gone almost as quickly as it had come, and now I was just exhausted. "I seriously doubt Sister Mary is qualified enough to know whether I've had a heart attack."

"I'm still taking you."

I sighed. It was probably for the best, but right now I just wanted to retire to my bed. My mind was hazy, and my energy had been drained. "Thanks for helping out."

"Of course I helped, I'm your teacher. Are you really feeling okay now? I've never seen anyone had a panic attack before."

"I'm just tired now." And scared. That had been scary, and if it was a side-effect, did it mean it was going to keep happening? I averted my eyes, there wasn't always going to be someone there to help me like today.

"It'll be fine." Mr. Campbell could read my mood like a book. "Just talk to Sister Mary, she might have something reassuring to tell you."

"All right. Will you stay in there whilst she talks to me?" I didn't dare look at him when I asked.

"Of course."

Sister Mary didn't have much to offer, as I'd expected. Mr. Campbell explained what had happened, and she nodded. "Ah, I see. A panic attack. Well, it's common in the final year. We get plenty of students suffering under the stress. Just make sure you get lots of sleep, maybe try some meditating, prayer, and you'll be fine."

Even Mr. Campbell looked unimpressed by the advice. "Is it likely to happen again?" I asked, despite knowing she couldn't really answer since she didn't know the root cause.

"I don't know, dear. Hopefully not. Just be sure to keep your stress down and it will be peachy."

I gave her a false smile. "Thank you, Sister."

"No problem dear, now run along. I'm sure that Mr. Campbell has lessons to get back to."

We left together, and he scowled when we were out of the door. "It looks like the internet is where you'll have to look."

I chuckled, lifting my hands and being relieved to see they were stable. "Looks like it. At least I'm in sixth form, if I'd still been in younger years I'd have had to use the school computers and that would have been embarrassing."

"I really can't imagine being at boarding school at all," he said, looking around at our archaic surroundings. "Coming home from school at the end of the day was my favourite part."

"I guess what you don't know can't hurt you."

"One way to look at it. Anyway, the Sister was kind of right, I have another lesson to teach pretty soon, so I have to get going. You're sure you're all right? I mean, you can come and just sit in my lesson, if you wanted."

I was sorely tempted, but I shook my head. I'd already caused him enough trouble for a lifetime. "That's okay. Thank you, though. I'm going to just go and lay in bed and watch a film whilst everyone else is in class, I think." Sister Mary had circulated a note to my teachers explaining my absence.

"Sure. Well, I'll see you around, then."

"See you."

We parted ways, and I stopped trying to hold up my I'm fine façade. When I got back to my room I could cry and admit that I was terrified.