Too Far (A Dan Howell Fanfiction)

21- It'll sure be fun.

"Anna?" Mike waved his hand in front of my face. I snapped out of it and focused.

"Hmm?" I tried to smile like I wasn't out of it.

"Is that all?" We finished packing, I felt so bad about this. I bothered Dan and Phil, and I knew that they felt that way. Especially since they spent so much time helping me and now I'm just leaving without a proper ending.

"Um. Yea. I think so." It was so uncomfortable knowing Dan was in his room, just metres away from me, probably very much hating me.

"You want to say 'goodbye' to Dan?" He asked. I looked at Dan's door. I considered it but I didn't want to take any chances of anything awkwardly worse happening at the moment.

"No. We already did." I nodded.

"Ok. Shall we?" He took me out into the car.  I stared straight ahead for a lot of the ride home. Either that, or down in my lap. I felt the cold of it all. Like I had unfinished business. We unpacked and put more things in storage and more unpacking and eating. Mike stopped the conversation we were having, in the middle.

"You're doing it again." He sighed. I was picking at my food. I wasn't very hungry, but I just needed something to keep me busy.

"What?" I zoned out for a second. Well I was zoned out most of the day.

"You're out of it. Can't you tell me what's really wrong?" He put his food down on the table. I looked from him, back to the plate to think about it for a second. He was in listening mode.

"I thought for a second that things would get better. But Dan didn't open up for too long. I don't think he cares for me being around at all."

"That's not true. He said that he was willing to help you and then you made up, right? Nothing to worry about. You're just moving out."

"When you came up, he acted weird. Didn't you notice?" I asked.

"I mean, it's always weird when a stranger comes into your house. It's not exactly very comforting." He nodded.

"I don't know." I sighed. "It was as if he didn't want me to leave with you." I clarified. He stopped and I could see he was thinking about it for a few seconds.

"Oh." He paused "But you two weren't a thi-"

"No." I said, a little too fast. "No. We were never."

"Well, he can't be mad. He's probably been protective of you. I know I would. Give him a few days and see what happens. Okay? Then you can judge your relationship." He put his hands on mine.

In my head, I was screaming "I CAN'T WAIT A FEW DAYS!! I NEED TO KNOW NOW!!" But I just shook it off.

Hours later, I was still thinking about it believe it or not. It was as if someone was forcing me to replay it over and over in my head until I was sick. I really tried not to think about it, I really did. But it's something that you can't just forgive and forget. That face he made. The same one he made yesterday. It killed me to see the regret of knowing me in his eyes. Painful, almost.

I also didn't know why, but I was so jumpy about Mike asking about Dan and my relationship. It's like on some level, it wouldn't be so bad if we were actually together. Probably difficult as fuck, as we are the most stubborn people. But he can be so caring when it comes to it. I don't know. It's something I was beginning to imagine. Something I really shouldn't be thinking of, as I am in a new, or I guess it could be a 'refurbished' relationship.

But I'm way over my head, and to block those thoughts, I brought myself back to reality. I'm once again, hated by the people who brought me as far as I am right now.