Hello ( BoyxBoy)

12. Hiding My Heart

Kenyamo POV....

He took my hand into his and we walked out of the bathroom. I opened the door and walked outside with Monty right behind me. He pulled out his keys and unlocked his car. I got to the car and got inside.

"Kenyamo where the fuck you going?" Kassidy said rushing outside. By the time she got to the car we was pulling out and then we sped off. I was sitting in my spot and felt horrible about being here. I'm messing with two dudes at the same time. Well technically I'm dating one and rekindling with the other.

It sounds stupid because I already know it is. I really want to be back with Monty but I want Tayshod too. "Where we going?" I asked him breaking the blissful silence. He looked at me and smiled. "Our favorite spot"he said holding his hand out.

Favorite spot? That could be a few places he needs to be specific. It could be the pier by the beach, the pizza palace or his bedroom. I needed to know which it was because those are our favorite spots that I know of.

I put my hand in his hand and we intertwined our fingers together. This felt like the first time we went out in public together. It was so much fun but weird at the same time. We had to use my friend Amerina as his girlfriend and I had to be the third wheel.

It was funny because even though they was supposed to be the "couple" he only paid attention to me. He barely even talked to her during the date. She moved to Atlanta with her girlfriend 5 months before I left. I wonder how she doing now.

"Is this it?" I said looking out at the beach. He smiled and told me to get out. I got out and we started walking towards the pier that we had alot of great memories at. I've done things with this boy I never in a million years thought I would do.

"You seem happy" he said putting his arm around me. I smiled and looked out at the sun that was getting ready to set. "I am happy" I said thinking really had about if I really was happy. I feel happy, my mind tells me I'm happy but my heart is saying something different.

We walked to the pier and sat down. I started swinging my legs and humming. "So let me ask you something" he said breaking me of my tune. I was about to bust out some lyrics if I kept going.

"What's good" I said in a joking way. He chuckled and took a deep breath. "Do you really like ole dude?" he said looking at me. I wanted to be completely honest and I should be. I have no reason to lie to him. Do I?

"Yeah he's really cool I'm feeling him" I said bluntly. I could tell it hurt him because his eyes closed tightly and he balled his mouth up. He always does that when he hears something he doesn't want to hear. His face went back to normal and he took a deep breath.

"Let me ask you something" I said before he could even get some words out. He nodded at me and I felt a lump in my throat develop. I was nervous about what I wanted to ask him. I wanted to know the answer but it wouldn't change my love for him.

"Do you love her?" I asked and then I held my breath. I felt like my whole breathing was shut off. He could throw out anything but I was more so hoping for a "no". "I don't love her at all but I love my child and in loving my child I have love for her" he said and I let my breath go.

I don't know what to say because as long as that damn child is her she'll be in the picture. I don't like it but I have to deal with it. Wait? Hold Up? I don't have to I'm making myself deal with it. "I can't do this" I said standing up. He did the same and said "what's wrong baby"?

He tried touching me but I wouldn't let him. "You....this whole thing is what's wrong I can't deal with it I can't stand to see you having something that strong with somebody else that's binding you two together for life" I said pacing back and forth.