Never too far from a beautiful mystery

Hold me through the night

Andrew's Pov

Sometimes I wonder why I worry, I thought about it over and over and to be honest I can't find the answer. Life scares the shit out of me sometimes. With all of the problems and with all of the stress that weighs us down sometimes.

I've been learning how to deal with all of that though, it hasn't been easy, some things are easier then others to deal with. But I'm happy because I know I can make it through the day with a smile on my face knowing that at the end of all the storms, at the end of all the personal battles everything will be ok.

I wash my face with some hot water, I rest my hands on the sink and take a deep breath, I raised my hand and saw it shake like teenage girls twerking on the Internet. I say to myself "ok Andrew don't worry, you don't need that garbage anymore". The urges for drugs still call me.

I call Jade to see if she was up yet, the phone rang but no answer. Maybe she was taking a shower or sleeping late. I practically drag myself downstairs for breakfast. My mom was making scrambled eggs and gourmet bacon, oh damn a great breakfast should cheer me up. My mom sensed that something was wrong as soon as I walked down the stairs.

She says asked "rough night"? I nod my head as I pour myself some coffee. I say "it's ok though, I'm sure today will be better". My dad walks in the kitchen and asked "is that bacon I smell?" Then he grabs my mom's butt and kisses her good morning. My mom jumped and laughed "Heeey good morning to you too".

That made me smile, seeing my parents laugh and smile and happy. It's the little moments that really get to us sometimes. I grab my book bag and say "thanks for the breakfast mom, I'm off to school". She says "wait come here". I go over to her and she gave me a hug and said "you have a great day ok".

I started walking to school but to my surprise Jade isn't waiting for me today. That got me kinda worried, I knocked on her front door to see if she was home, her mom was the one who answered the door "oh.... hi Andrew, Jade told me to tell you that she might not be able to see you this week, she's really sick and she doesn't want to get you sick". I kindly asked "is it alright if I see her really quick, I want to make sure she's ok".

Her mom just closed the door in my face and said "goodbye Andrew". I just stood there like a total dumb ass. I say to myself "thanks a lot douche". I had to walk alone to school in the cold. I was almost at school and Stephanie and her boyfriend were walking slowly and giggling at each other.

Shit now I have to walk past them, I try to walk past them as fast as I could trying not to engage in a awkward conversation. But guess what everyone, yes they had to open their fucking mouth yaaaaay me.

Marcus says "hey loser, why are you walking alone, did your girlfriend finally dump you". Stephanie elbows him on the chest playfully and laughs. I try to keep walking and just ignore them but then I hear Stephanie say in a low voice "maybe he's high on glass and can't hear us". I stop and say "what the fuck did you say!"

Marcus machos up and says "I think you struck a cord baby, what's the matter can't handle the pressure Andrew". I just walk away because I didn't want to start any trouble, but that just destroyed me inside when I heard that, especially from her.

What a way to begin my day, first I get insulted and now the teacher says to the class with such excitement "hey everyone I have great news, do you remember when I told everyone to study for the test a gave last week and nobody studied, well do I have a surprise for you, since nobody studies anyway I guess I'll just give the tests without announcing them, so baaaam here everyone!!!"

Well biology can't be that hard. Of course I thought that until I saw the test, I just sat there looking at the test. I sit there just reflecting over my life wondering why I didn't study. So I try to remember what he gave in class and I start laying down answers on the paper. The class was almost over and I was the first one to hand my test in.

I wait patiently for class to end hoping that the teacher won't call my name so I could see my grade. Then suddenly I hear the teacher call me... how fantastic "Andrew come here". I walk over slowly prepared mentally to receive an F. The teacher lays down the test on his desk and asks "ok Andrew I know you didn't cheat so can you please tell me how you managed to get a 97 on this test".

I answer him nervously "well I just remembered the things you said in class and baaaam I destroyed that test". The teacher says "ok no you just ruined it, that's my thing ok , just take a seat". I was happy and bummed at the same time. Fuck it I got an A.

After a very long day at school it was finally time to go home. I miss the hell out of Jade, I just wondered why her mom didn't let me see her, a stupid cold isn't going to slow me down, I wonder if she didn't want to see me or something. Well at least today was nice.

As I'm walking out of the school Marcus stops me and says "hey man I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry". I accepted his apology "it's ok m....". Then he interrupts me "I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner, that you are just a junkie, maybe that's why your girlfriend didn't want to see you".

I turn kinda red because I was getting frustrated "you don't know shit about me and you don't know shit about my relationship". He says "yeah but I do know about how you fucked up with Stephanie in the past because you loved drugs more than you loved her, maybe that's why she hates you now".

I adjust my book bag and say "I can't change the past but I can be better in the future". He says "ha you wish that was true, you are probably going to go back to your fucked up ways and hurt another person, so maybe you should spare your new girlfriend". I clinched my first and scream "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!"

The security guard stepped in and said "that's enough go home, both of you". I walk home just sad, I wasn't angry or mad, I just felt bad. What if Marcus is right, maybe Jade doesn't want to see me because of my past, but I know I have the will power to stay clean but it isn't as easy as it looks.

I get home and take long thoughtful shower. I needed Jade by my side right now, I need her hugs, I need the amazing advice that she gives, but most of all I need her love. I text her

A: I wish you were here to hold me through the night.

I waited for a while but no reply.